Monday, March 29, 2010

March of Dimes

Every day, thousands of babies are born too soon, too small and often very sick. I'm walking in March for Babies on April 18th because I want to do something about this. And I need your help.

Please support my walk. Making a secure donation is easy: just visit my page and click the 'donate now' button. Thank you for helping me give all babies a healthy start!

The mission of March of Dimes is to improve the health of babies by preventing birth defects, premature birth, and infant mortality.

Again, visit my page @ for more information and thank you for your time and consideration!  My husband and I will both be walking, and hope to raise $250 each for a total of $500.

6 weeks on the dot

So today we are officially 6 weeks pregnant... we have our first ultrasound on Wednesday at 1:45pm and I cannot wait. It’s literally all I can think about... at least between the thoughts of how tired I am or how sick I feel or how much I wish I didn't have boobs right about now. Which, coincidentally, I find to be a great segue way into a status update on my most recent symptoms.

Exhaustion is still the front runner. I could fall asleep mid-conversation, and took two naps on Saturday. I nap a lot... and I fear I'm starting to look like a stoner to those around me at the current moment. I find myself just spaced out all the time. Plus it doesn't help that I wake up 2 to 4 times a night to pee and drink more water.

The nausea is closing in quickly on second. I thought I was pretty lucky thus far in this area, but right now, I feel like I could be sick at any moment. The idea of food makes me want to die. This really has only been going on for a couple days, but I'm already done with it... I cannot wait for this to end, but deep down I know, its just getting started.

Of course, my breasts are killing me. At first, it was just the nipples, but I woke up the other day and wanted to cry. My bras hurt, they hurt when I sleep, even if I just sleep on my side... and my husband doesn't understand that, while they look different and fun, it’s NOT fun to grab right now. I swear if I am touched one more time, I'm gonna gently caress his face with my fist.

I suppose that is all for now... no new and exciting updates thus far. Keep your fingers very crossed that all is well and our ultrasound goes great on Wednesday!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Too early to make the leap

Today I am only 5w2d, and all I can think about is how much I was to wear maternity clothes (and how much I want to eat sauerkraut, but more on that later). I know it is way too early to be at this point, but while I have not gained any weight, my pants literally hurt to wear. I am that bloated, I suppose. I decided to take the happy medium and just go with the belly band. I bought one from Motherhood... then saw Target had the BellaBand, so I bought one of those too. Can't tell which I like more; I just know the BellaBand is a little smaller... I just haven't decided if that’s a good thing yet.

I also, admittedly, bought a pair of maternity jeans from Target. They are under-belly, so they look pretty normal; they just have an elastic waistband which makes them heaven to me. I haven't worn them yet, but I like knowing they are there. Right now, I am just trying to stick with the belly bands and lots of dresses. The weather last week was PERFECT for dresses, but this week is colder and rainy, so we'll see.

I scheduled lots of appointments today. First up will be my first ultrasound, with the RE still. Its scheduled for next Wednesday, March 31st. I cannot wait! I'll be 6w2d and really hope everything is well. After that, I have my first OB appointment. That will be Thursday, April 15, at 8w3d. They will also do an ultrasound. I. Cannot. Wait! Now I just have to make the time pass faster!

I will be meeting with a new OB... not because I didn't like my old OB, but because we moved in October, and currently the hospital my old OB is affiliated with is 30-40 minutes away, while Fairfax hospital is literally 5 minutes down the road. So I decided it was in my best interest to make the change. I hope it goes well!

Lastly, my symptom update. The main contender right now is the exhaustion... If possible, it’s worse than a week ago. I can fall asleep mid-sentence, not to mention its the first thing I want to do when I come home from work. Last night, I fell asleep at 8:45, and missed LOST, ugh, so mad at myself (Thank God for DVR)!

Second up is the frequent urination... I wake up 4 or 5 times a time to pee, not to mention pee every hour on the hour at work. I get some waves nausea, but nothing too terrible, and only one bought with actual vomiting (but I think it was because I ate too fast). I'm having a few food aversions and cravings... the aversions are mostly due to smells (like the Moby Dick's my office neighbor brought in for lunch.. ugh). My current craving du joir is sauerkraut. So much so I am stopping at the store on my way home to get some for dinner. Yummo.

Monday, March 22, 2010

So far, so good

Sorry for not updating in a few days, especially since I had my second beta test on Friday.  This weekend was pretty busy for me.  My DH and I left DC on Friday to go to my hometown for the weekend, as an early celebration for my Birthday.  I love being able to see my family, especially because I really haven't since the holidays.

First off, the beta results!  My nurse called me on Saturday to let me know my number was...


This test was taken exactly 1 week from my first beta test, which resulted at 77.  This is right on par with doubling every 48 hours, so that has really helped me calm a little.  I know its still really early, considering today I am exactly 5 weeks, but every little bit helps.

We took this weekend to tell my parents and family about our pregnancy.  Of course, they all know what has been going on, as far as we have been trying for a long time and doing IF treatments, so I was worried it wouldn't be much of a surprise.  I originally wanted to wait longer to tell them, but since they are so aware of everything going on, they were starting to question if this cycle worked.  So, we decided to go ahead and tell them.  I made a bandana for our fur-baby Layla that said "Big Sister" and let her wear it down to breakfast.  Everyone was so happy.  We are waiting to tell DH's family until Easter weekend, which is the next time we plan to see them.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Keep trying to talk myself down

For the past 48 hours, I feel like I have been completely insane. Little things drive me over the edge.

For starters, yesterday, I met with my endocrinologist regarding the pregnancy. To give a little background on myself, I was diagnosed with a very bad case of hyperthyroidism at age 15. At the time, I was the youngest person in Virginia to be diagnosed and it was so bad, I was actually hospitalized for an extended period of time. I had radioactive iodine treatment and have been "hypo" ever since. I had a great endocrinologist, Dr. G, who oversaw all my treatments and to whom I continued to see through college. Then, right when I moved to DC, he retired. Sad, sad day for me. Ever since, I have been through several new doctors, each as bad as the next. I must have just been really lucky because every endo doctor I have met since has been a complete jackass. I eventually just have to give up hope and move on.

So now I see Dr. Z, who I admit is to the point and effective, but he talks so fast it drives me crazy. He really has a knack for making me feel like just another number and is not really interested at all in any of my questions. I, of course, had a ton now that I am officially pregnant, but I feel like everything was blown off. On top of that, he had the nerve to answer a personal call on his cell while I was sitting right there. That is the sort of thing that drives me crazy... especially when he didn't even apologize afterwards for doing it. So I left the office in not too great of a mood, thinking I would just have to save all my questions for my OB.

This morning I had work drama, but I was dealing with it OK because I thought I would have my updated beta results today. I had my blood draw at 7:30 am, and thought I would get results by this afternoon. WRONG. Won't be in until tomorrow because the test is sent offsite. WTF? If I had known that, I would have pushed to come in yesterday, not today. I wanted to know everything was going well, as I am going out of town this weekend for my Birthday. Naturally, I got angry about it, and stopped dealing with my work drama so well. Now I'm in a terrible mood.

It makes me worried that I am in such a bad mood now. It totally seems like PMS, but I'm hoping its just another pregnancy symptom. Today I am 18DPO and at 4w4d.

Update: Just to reiterate how crazy I have become, I just used a stray OPK midstream test I located in my purse just to ease my mind that all is still OK.  It was of course super positive and within 30 seconds, so that hopefully can calm me down until the beta results come in tomorrow... but I thought this was funny since I'm like an HPT junkie... and just like any junkie, when you can't get a hold of the real thing (in this case, a HPT or the beta results), you move onto the cheap replacement (in this case, the OPK).  Its like a crack addit with cold medicine.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

I'll warn ya now... *TMI* ahead

There have been two things I have noticed in the last week, besides the complete exhaustion I've already complained about in full... both of these things are definitely in the TMI category, but hey, I said I was gonna be up front and honest on this thing, and I intend to stick to that, especially since I'm sure it's just gonna get worse. :) The funny part is, I can't wait! I'm ready for it. Bring on all those annoying pregnancy symptoms and remind me this is real!

Anyway, the first and most uncomfortable issues I am having right now is constipation. It started with the prenatal vitamins, but got worse about a week ago. And when I say worse, I mean, bowel movements had become a thing of the past! I am usually a fairly regular gal, but not so much anymore. It's made me gassy and made my stomach hurt, and I have been miserable in this department. Well, I am happy to say, I finally POOPED! Yup, I'm excited by my execratory progress, regardless of how little anyone else in the world cares. I care, because for the first time in a week, I don't feel like my intestines are going to explode. It’s awesome.

Secondly, its the CM. I, at least, expected this somewhat, but really, not to this degree. I know my body is busy making the mucus plug, and I commend it, but I constantly feel like I have peed my pants or something.... which wouldn't surprise me right now if that did happen since I am peeing all the time right now.

In other news, it turns out my husband is terrified to have sex with me. I'm trying my best to tell him he can hurt the baby, as (a) he can't even reach him or her, and (b) its the size of a poppy seed right now. But it's to no avail. I hate to admit it hasn't really bothered me, though, because I have been so tired. All I want to do is sleep and nap and sleep more. But I don't want our sex life to go downhill either. Ugh, what’s a lady to do?

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

4w1d and Counting

I really need to stop temping.  I know this, deep down... so why can't I stop?  It just drives me insane.

Yesterday, my temp dropped, from around 98.4 to 98.0... it, of course, freaked me out.  But for nothing, because today, it was back up, and I'm still getting beautiful BFPs. 

I think I just have to accept that this is real, that it really did happen to me (FINALLY), and I need to RELAX. I think I have just known too many women who have gone through chemical pregnancies or miscarriages, that I have the idea stuck in my head...

I wish I was getting my follow up beta test sooner than Friday. I just want continued reassurance that everything is going OK.

Also, I've decided that since I originally used this blog to share my experiences of IF treatments and TTC, it only makes sense to share my experiences with the actual pregnancy. So, from here on out, those are the sorts of updates you can expect, right down to the TMI symptoms that everyone woman honestly does want to know.

So far, my symptoms are still pretty non-existent, but I'm still really early. Today is 4w1d... I expect it to start getting worse in the next week or so. Mostly, I am just worn out completely. I used to be an insomniac and had to take sleeping pills for years, which I have been slowing weaning off since I started IF treatments (very slowly, it was hard). The last time I took a pill (well, 1/4 a pill...that’s how I was weaning myself off - by pill cutting) was the Thursday after IUI. The first few days were hard, but since the middle of last week, I've had NO trouble getting to sleep. It's literally the second my head hits the pillow. I also almost always fall asleep watching TV after dinner now or take some sort of nap when I get home from work. I'm jus exhausted. But if it’s because my body is busy baby-making then I'm A-OK with it!

My only other symptoms are minor, with sore nipples and metal mouth. My bra is so uncomfortable and no amount of brushing my teeth can make this taste go away.  Oh, and I DROOL now, yeah, my poor pillow is just gross.

Monday, March 15, 2010

New kind of waiting game

So I'm getting a little more comfortable as days go past, but I'm still worried this is too good to be true.  I've put my concerns that the 10 BFPs I have gotten are caused by remaining hCG from the trigger shot, but I still worry about this being a chemical pregnany, or ectopic, or that it will result in a miscarriage.  I have no reason to believe this may happen to me, as it never has before, but like I said, this just seems too good to be true. 

Not too surprising, I have taken about a bazillion HPTs.  Let's see... one on Thursday, then 4 on Friday (2 with FMU, 2 with SMU), then 1 each on Saturday, Sunday, and today.  I really hate the Dollar Tree tests.  They never get very dark and make me worry.  I used one on Sunday and it was barely visable.  I was sure my pregnany was already over, but I took a FRER this morning and it was beautiful; the test line was just as dark as the control, and showed up in no time). 

I was able to go to my RE on Friday, at 11DPO (3w5d) and get my beta bloodtest.  I got the results on Saturday morning, and they came back at 77.  The nurse who called me seemed to think this was realy good, but I of course hit to the internet to see for sure.  From what I found, here is what to expect in early pregnany:

Week 3 = 5-50
Week 4 = 5-426

Soooo, it seems I'm high for Week 3, but maybe a little low for Week 4.  Who knows.  I'm going to try and not worry about it, but I have of course already hit up the WTE message board for info on other's beta levels.  I'm a dork, I know.  I go back on Friday for another beta, and if the whole "doubles every 48 hours" thing is accurate, I'm looking at a beta level of around 1000.  But does that sound right?  Everyone seemed to think I would be called back in on Sunday or Monday, but instead we are waiting a week.  Maybe they are really confident or something.  Who knows; I guess it's good one of us is.

I don't really have much in the way of symptoms except for the complete exhaustion over the past 4 or 5 days.  I swear, I have had to take a nap every day since Friday, and I can barely wake up in the morning.  I am SO tired.

That's all for now!  Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Friday, March 12, 2010

Please be real...

Sorry I didn't post yesterday... I was afraid of speaking too soon and having the inevitable crash-and-burn.

Yesterday around lunch time, after holding my pee for about 5 hours and limiting my liquid intake, I decided to POAS.  Since I was only 10DPO, I was sure it would be negative, but to my surprise, the faintest line was there... barely visable on my Dollar Tree test.  So, of course, it was in NO way true or substantial.  I did not let myself believe it.

So this morning comes around, and as I am laying in bed, almost in pain by how much I need to pee, I decide "Let's try this again".  So I did, with a FRER and a Dollar Tree test.  The Dollar Tree test was still faint, but the FRER was plain as day, IMHO.  Here are all three tests:

You can barely see the DT tests in this pic but the test today is darker than the test from yesterday, and the FRER is clear.  I was in shock.  There is no way this could be happening... I have to try again... So, of course, I did, at work, after holding my pee again for another 5 hours, this time with another Dollar Tree test and a digital ClearBlue... yup, big, fat, ol' "Pregnant" shows up in, like, 30 seconds.

I have no idea what to think.  I'm still really scared this is left over from my trigger shot, but I got negative tests earlier in the week... I'm waiting to hear back from my RE as to what they thing.  Hopefully, I'll be in for my beta test today or Monday...

I'm in shock.  After 15 months of trying, I was starting to think it wasn't possible... I wish I had more to say or write about this, but it isn't even hit me yet...

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Sidebar note for today

I hate this "feature".  I know we shouldn't put too much stock in it, but I find myself recording every little thing that MIGHT be a symptom into FF and still never get what I consider to be a satisfactory amount of points.  I would have thought that this cycle, I would get a higher number than normal, but I actually think its much lower.  I can't help but ask "WTH?"  Boo to 39 points.  I want, like, 100!

Nose Dive and Other Plans

My BBT took a nose dive this morning, down to 97.97 (from the mid-97.4s).  I know that is still good and elevated and etc, but I can't help but worry about it just a little bit.  It also helps confirm what I was already concerned about - my awesome chart for the past few days is my own fault and doing.  How, do you ask?  Well, for one, I have been waking up a lot more during the night (1-2 times) to use the bathroom, so I'm sure that had an effect, and two, because I have been so excited each morning to see if my temp has gone up, that I am sure I'm making my heart race, which raises your temp.  Last night, I didn't get up to use the bathroom...

Here's today's chart; I'm 9DPO:

I know its still OK, and I need to just relax.  Maybe today is an implantation dip...who knows.  Yesterday I was very crampy (almost like AF cramps, but waay too early for me), and today my breasts/nipples are very sore.  Plus, I have been hit with this crazy exhaustion the past few days.  Monday was the worst, Tuesday was not so bad until the late afternoon/evening, and today I'm having a hard time waking up.  Maybe its because I've stopped drinking coffee in preparation for being preggers...(I'm one of those ~5 cups a day people, but I've been slowly weaning myself off)... or maybe its a sign.  Who knows!  I'm driving myself insane second guessing everything that goes on during this 2WW.

I had a phone back appointment with Dr. K yesterday.  She helped ease some of my worries about this and the next cycle.  My first question was one I posted here last week: Did I really ovulate 36 hours after the trigger shot, or did we miss it because I O'ed early?  She helped ease my mind by confirming the hCG can raise my temp, making me (and FF) think I O'ed earlier than expected, and also that my bloodwork on the day of trigger did not lead her to believe I would O in less than 36 hours.  So that helped. 

Secondly, we talked about our concerns for the "December Baby".  She said she totally understood, and we were far from the first couple to have these concerns, but that I needed to keep in mind that the EDD is (obviously) just an estimate, and actual birth can occur in give or take 2 weeks from that date.  In addition to that, if we do have twins or multiples, as a result of the IF treatments, we would likely deliver at 36 weeks... so if we waited a month, we could still end up in the same boat.  My husband and I talked about it a lot last night, and while we still have not made a final decision yet, I think we are going to go ahead and try again next month if this cycle does not work out.  Hopefully, we won't even need to make this decision!  Fingers. Firmly. Crossed.

Lastly, we discussed the plan for next cycle.  As you know, this cycle we did Metformin, Clomid, and Follistim injections (50IU).  We are going to do the same thing, except this time, we will only do 25IU of the Follistim.  This is just because after a couple days of 50IU, I was at the risk of over-stimulation.  The doctor hopes that by reducing the amount, we will have better control.  That may mean it will take longer, but we have less of a risk of having to skip a cycle.

That's all for now! 

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

8DPO and some junk

My temp did rise a little this morning, but by only 0.1 degrees, so I'm again worried that I caused this, and yesterday was anything but an implantation dip.  I think I am becoming a little too awake each morning when temping, which in turn makes my heartbeat pick up and my temp rise.  Also, I woke up at around 4am this morning and had a hard time getting back to sleep.  I usually temp around 6am.

Anyway, here's today's chart.  I'm 8DPO:

I'm honestly not feeling very different, or in any way that may lend itself to suggest I may be pregnant.  Yesterday, I was exhausted, and practically falling asleep at my desk, but today, that has pretty much subsided.  I'm a little tired, but no where near how I was yesterday.  I had let myself think maybe it was an early symptom, but now, I don't think that's really the case.

Today at 11:45am, I have another phone back appointment with my RE, Dr. K.  Basically, she just wants to talk about what the next plan of action is if this cycle didn't work.  I know she just wants to stay on top of everything and have all bases covered, but I can't help but feel already dismissed for this past cycle... its pretty much validating what I have been thinking all week, in that there is no way we are lucky enough to be pregnant on our first try with IUI... thats just too simple.

My husband really wants to take the next cycle off, not because he needs a break or because he doesn't want to keep trying, but because if we did try and finally get pregnant, our due date would be around Christmas.  I know this sounds silly, but we live several hours away from all of our family, and always have travel plans for late December to see everyone.  If we are due around Christmas, there is no way we will be able to spend Christmas with our whole family, since we would not be able to travel, and I doubt everyone would come to us (not to mention we just don't have the capacity to house everyone for an extended period of time).  Also, he doesn't like the idea of having Birthdays so close to Christmas.  He thinks its unfair to the child.  I can see his point, but at this time in the game, I really don't care.  I could care less if we miss one holiday travel to see our crazy and exhausting relatives.  We can just plan to go in January or something.  Plus, in the event we have twins or something (since IF treatments increase this chance AND the genes run in my family), we would likely go into labor early anyway and this wouldn't even be an issue.

Anyway, I know I am getting ahead of myself, but I'm not sure what we are gonna do and its driving me crazy.  I just really hope we don't have to worry about this... I hope this cycle is the one and I'm pregnant now.  I don't want to take another break, but I don't know what to tell him to see my point and possibly agree with me.

OK, this turned into a bit of a vent without my meaning it to be.  I'll let everyone know how it goes after my phone back.

Monday, March 8, 2010

One week down... almost

Today I am 7DPO, so I'm almost halfway through my 2WW. I'm at the point right now where I am pretty much convincing myself that there is no way this worked. That would be just too easy. Yeah, I said it, after 15 months of TTC, the last several of them being with IF treatments, I feel like getting pregnant with our first IUI would be just too easy! How sad is that?? This journey has been anything but easy, so I cannot believe I feel this way.

My hubby, on the other hand, is just so cute. Every time I say something, like I am tried, or my head hurts, or whatever, he automatically says, "I think you're pregnant". Bless his heart, because I know deep down its because he wants it to work as much as I do, so I don't have the heart to tell him it's waaay to early to know that yet.

I've been taking tests (from Dollar Tree) pretty much daily for the past several days to try and "track" my trigger shot. I was surprised that I haven't seen any +HPTs, with the exception of one I took the day after my IUI (i.e. 4 days past trigger); even on this test, the line was super faint. I was worried that since I kept waking up frequently during the night, it was effecting my "FMU", so today, I used my OPK method, which basically means I pee when I first wake up, then hold it as long as possible, then test, usually around 11AM. This is truly an effective way for me. Anyway, still negative, so I am confident that the trigger shot is out of my system.

My temps steadily went up over the weekend, and dropped today. Check it out:

I'm hoping this is good, although, they cynic in me has to question it. I've never had a post-ovulation chart look like this. I will be over the moon if I wake up tomorrow to another spike... possibly triphasic?? Let’s hope.

In other weekend related news, I got to have my first real experience with laying off the drink in social situations. I cannot lie, I love to drink, especially red wine. What can I say, I'm Irish, and we like the booze. Usually in the 2WW, I am at least mindful of the drinking and try to slow down a bit and stick only to wine (no beer, no liquor), but this time around, since I feel like I have a much more increased chance of actually being pregnant, I've decided to not drink during these two weeks... I did slip a little Friday night and had a small glass of red wine, but on Saturday, we went to a housewarming party followed by my friend's 30th Birthday party at a club in D.C., and at both places, I did not have a sip of alcohol. I think going one week with only one small glass of wine is a triumph for me. Luckily, the club served me cokes in lowball glasses, so I didn't call anyone into question (everyone still thought I was drinking), but I can definitely tell you, being the sober one in these situations is no fun! But at least it gave me some good practice for the hopeful 9 months ahead!

Friday, March 5, 2010

4 days and counting...

Today is 4DPO, and I think the only thing saving me from driving myself crazy is the impending weekend.  I love Fridays, and I cannot wait to leave work!

I listened to what a lot of people said, both here and on WTE and other online boards, and decided to take HPTs every so often to monitor the trigger shot in my system.  Like I said a few days ago, I did end up using a dollar tree test on Tuesday afternoon (three days after trigger), and there was a faint line, but not too much, because my pee was probably pretty diluted by the end of the day.  This morning, I tried again, but there wasn't even a faint line.  That doesn't seem right.  From what I have read, it takes people 8 to 12 DPO to stop seeing the trigger shot, and I am only 4 DPO (or 7 days past trigger shot).  I think it may be because I woke up and used the bathroom several times during the night... I think around 1, then again around 4, then again when I woke up at 7... and I used the 7am urine to do the test.  I didn't drink anything but maybe it isn't really considered FMU if you pee three times during the night.  But I have a small bladder and really can't make it through the night!!

My temp spiked up this morning, from 97.9 to 98.3, so yay, I hope that's a good sign.  Someone told me to stop temping since I triggered this cycle, but I just can't bring myself to do it.

Exercise is going good so far.  I've worked out everyday since the elliptical came home... granted, that's only 2 days, but hey, its a start!  This weekend is supposed to be in the low 50's and sunny, so I'm hoping to get out for some good long walks. I love walking outside, especially because I finally found some good places near our house to go... sadly once I found it, the blizzards came and I haven't been out since.  Boo snow, I'm so sick on winter!

Weekends make the 2WW so much easier and go faster, and I'm excited to have 1 week almost down!  I'm going to try and wait until the 15th to test, which will be 14DPO, but we'll see how that goes.  I may end up caving next weekend and testing in the 12-13DPO range.  Of course, I'll get a BFN and ruin my weekend! Blah, I wish tests could tell you, like, the second it happens!  I hate this waiting!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Getting and Staying Fit, Before and During Pregnancy

While on my newly reinforced exercise plan, I took to the internet and hit up Google for some information on safe Fitness and Exercise routines that are safe both before and during pregnancy.  If this is an area you are also interest in, please see the following links.

During Pregnancy:
WebMD - Pregnancy and Exercise
WebMD - Exercises for Pregnancy
Exercise During Pregnancy: What You Can Do for a Healthy Pregnancy
Baby Center - Exercises for Pregnancy - Great site with lots of exercise examples and information

Before Pregnancy:
Woman's Health - Diet, Exercise and Getting Pregnant

Both Before and During Pregnancy:
Pregnancy Stages and Exercise

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

New Toy and Diet Plans

Are you kidding me?  I'm only 2DPO.  Ughhh this blows.  I have never been so impatient in my LIFE.  This 2WW is killing me.  I wish I was, like, 7DPO or something.  My doctor suggested waiting 16 days before testing, which means I would need to wait until March 17th... yeah, I don't see that happening.  We will be lucky to make it to next weekend.  I've heard the trigger shot can stay in your system for up to 12 days; is that true?? (BTW, I can't lie, I totally went home the other day and wasted a HPT just to see the second line... it was so pathetic).

I'm usually really good about the 2WW.  Last time, I started teaching myself sewing and photography, this time, I've decided its exercising.  I'm just not too sure yet what is good and what is not, especially if I do turn out to be preggo, but I'll be researching it.

I am generally a nut about exercise, especially in the last couple years.  When I was in college, I would spend 2 hours a day in the gym; I loved it!  Then, in my last year (2004) while I was wrapping up my second major, I got a job at a local restaurant.  Worst. Decision. Ever.  I gained so much wait, it was so bad, and I feel like I have struggled ever since.

In 2008, I decided to do Weight Watchers, and ended up losing 50 lbs in about a year.  I wasn't quite at my college weight (I never realized how skinny I was then until I... well, wasn't anymore) when I was really active (and apparently had a metabolism to die for), but I was really happy with the results.  I would go for 4-5 mile walks/runs almost every day, rain or shine, hot or cold, and was really careful about what I ate.  Then we hit September 2009... and I start with the Clomid, and we move to a new neighborhood with less walking areas/sidewalks...then months go by and new IF meds come into play... we get hit with not 1, but 3 "blizzards" with 3ft+ of snow that take a month to melt... and I find myself no longer active, eating anything and everything in sight, and gaining 20 lbs.  Bad Lindsay!

I'm still significantly lower than my highest weight, but it still sucks.  I'm really disappointed in myself to have worked so hard and let it slip so fast.  I worked so hard for a year and now I just feel like a slob.  What is worse is I feel like my goal for losing this weight in the first place was to be healthier while pregnant, but I feel less than healthy right now.

So, as a result, my wonderfully sweet hubby bought me a new present, and it arrived yesterday:

This is my new baby, the Sole E35 elliptical; its here to save me from this horrible cold and snow that has kept me from maintaining my workouts (i.e. walks outside, my FAVORITE).  My hubby and I stayed up until 11:30 last night assembling it (it took 4 hours), and I plan to go home for my first workout after work.  I'm very excited.  I know I need to be careful about working out while pregnant, but I hope I can keep up with it some and not get too out of shape.  And maybe I can shape up a little bit during this 2WW.

So, I'm hoping I can maybe lose about 5 lbs before the 2WW is up.  I know that may not sound too great, but your first week weight loss on a diet is usually water weight anyway (which is why alot of people lose 4-5 lbs alone in the first week of any new plan) and its healthy to lose ~2lbs a week on a healthy diet.  If I do find out I am pregnant in 2 weeks, then I will forego plans to lose weight and just focus on maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Just Had To Share

Let me first start by saying the following website is graphic.  Seriously.  Graphic.  BUT, I personally find it very interesting, mostly because I can't see my own, and I have to admit, I've "Google Imaged" pictures before and never found something so detailed.  So if you are at all interested in real pictures of the cervix at various stages, and some CM too, then this link is for you.  If the idea of looking at this just grosses you out, then don't go... really.

Beautiful Cervix Project

Only Day 1, and I Already Feel Crazy!

I'm driving myself insane... I'm so worried now with the "will this work?" that I can hardly focus on anything else.  I usually handle the 2WW very well, but this time around, it SUCKS.

Well for starters, I had my IUI this morning. Overall, it went very well. It didn't hurt at all; it wasn't even uncomfortable. They said DH's sample was very good, so yay! The whole process took only a few seconds and felt very similar to getting a pap. Apparently my cervix was really far back so I had to get a special speculum... I don't know if that’s a good thing or not, but I went with it. After the "boys" were in place, I had to lie on this table that basically put me in the most awkward position, with my hips and butt in the air and the blood rushing to my head, and I had to stay there for 15 minutes.

As you know, I trigger at 10PM on Saturday night, CD14, and my IUI was this morning at 10AM, 36 hours after the shot.  I know that these people are professionals and do this all the time, but I am so worried we missed the O.  On Sunday, I had EWCM and a very open cervix, so I knew I was fertile.  But this morning, my temp went up (to 97.77, which is a little high for me), and my CM is more watery/creamy.  And although my cervix feels softer than yesterday, it doesn't feel as open.

So of course, I'm driving myself nuts thinking we didn't catch the egg.  I'm so worried that I actually O'ed on Sunday, not today, and we are out.  We did BD on Saturday, but I'm worried it won't be enough.  Ugh, I wish we could just know now if it worked!