tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10106114398701657432024-02-07T03:40:09.121-05:00Adventures in Baby MakingAdventures in Baby Making; and in-depth look into the wonderfully terrifying, stressful world of becoming parents. A trying to conceive (TTC) through infertility treatments blog.Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05149780805113822957noreply@blogger.comBlogger129125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1010611439870165743.post-42301226595506712512011-12-21T13:46:00.000-05:002011-12-21T13:46:30.250-05:00Family Pics!Earlier this month, we finally got around to getting some professional Lane and family photos. You have no idea how hard of a time I had finding someone in the Richmond area to do this. I had contacted and all but set up an official shoot date with three different photographers just to end up never hearing from them again. I contacted my friend (and photographer) Lisa who jumped on a magic message board and found me Kacie Lynch, and I loved her! She did such a great job, and I love that the session included a disk with all the pictures on it. It didn't cost extra, which seemed to be the case with most other photographers. We will definitely be using her again!<br />
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Sadly, Lane only had about an hour of tolerance in him that day, mostly because it was the coldest day that month, but we still got some good shots. Here are a few (or a lot) of my favorites!!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXtW7U3jxHOg3c-3PuD1tbSMEy0vyK5mjtO8pLyQybxV1fHGsQOZh43X8ghcqjDxVPmzPnMExymLJFpIyKMhGKRyMJy7c4ZZ5T-30FQR_IathkEprVufAEzvc9z6oL0HuqqX27zJQ1ABQ/s1600/6532194203_216a49c23e_z.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXtW7U3jxHOg3c-3PuD1tbSMEy0vyK5mjtO8pLyQybxV1fHGsQOZh43X8ghcqjDxVPmzPnMExymLJFpIyKMhGKRyMJy7c4ZZ5T-30FQR_IathkEprVufAEzvc9z6oL0HuqqX27zJQ1ABQ/s320/6532194203_216a49c23e_z.jpg" width="213" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJnAW8Caq8HHtKl9spNY-xohC_EonbdZ8gjc259SOblOsmuVwYt38UiVhJ_JK_erVGJ1GPhqY8_h-XcrxtaeZOgpHv2DOFR4RjNERKyyZi0PlW-uJRJlSAdz6PKoFqXsbVmHKhoEUAXyw/s1600/6532159239_fa993a7bf1_z.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJnAW8Caq8HHtKl9spNY-xohC_EonbdZ8gjc259SOblOsmuVwYt38UiVhJ_JK_erVGJ1GPhqY8_h-XcrxtaeZOgpHv2DOFR4RjNERKyyZi0PlW-uJRJlSAdz6PKoFqXsbVmHKhoEUAXyw/s320/6532159239_fa993a7bf1_z.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05149780805113822957noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1010611439870165743.post-72095013957017950912011-12-21T13:29:00.000-05:002011-12-21T13:29:35.742-05:00Punch to the GutSo yesterday, we took the car in to be serviced before leaving for Christmas vacation. We have yet to buy a second car since the unfortunate destruction of the Mazda last year, but it works out for the most part since Eric works from home. Annnnnyway, as a result, I had the car shuttle service pick me up from work and take me back to the dealership to get the car.<br />
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So, we are driving along and I somehow get on the subject of kids, specifically Lane. Here's the gist of the convo:<br />
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"Blah Blah Blah, like your work?"<br />
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"Yes, but I'm happy to be done for the day. I'm exhausted! Of course, I have to go home to my second job with my 14 month old."<br />
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"Oh, you have twins?"<br />
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"What???"<br />
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"Twins, right?"<br />
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::major pause, insert punch in gut face::<br />
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"...no...."<br />
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??????????<br />
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Really? I really didn't say ANYTHING to remotely imply twins so where did it come from? I've said it a hundred times before, but I already feel like I've had my membership to the exclusive club for twin mommies taken away, but I'm typically pretty well adjusted. But when something like this happens, I have no idea how to react. What do I say?? "Um, no sir, well, actually, yes sir, only there was this terrible accident and now I just have one son... so, no twins anymore... I know you feel super awkward now but at least I'm not the only one..."<br />
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I never know how to react in these situations. I have a hard enough time not wanting to hate every woman in the world with or expecting twins... I know it isn't <b>THEIR </b>fault that this happened to me, and I know deep down its just jealously looking in on the life I was <b>SUPPOSED </b>to have, but my logically knowing this does not make the feeling go away. Plain and simple. Hell, to be honest, sometimes I feel that way towards all mommies-to-be, regardless of multiples or not... it must be some coping mechanism of mine. I think my own fears of being pregnant again are just starting to rub off on my social interactions...Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05149780805113822957noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1010611439870165743.post-72376375573555240982011-11-11T11:12:00.002-05:002011-11-11T11:12:58.846-05:00Mother of the Year Award Goes To...Sometimes, I feel like such a terrible mom. Really, just downright BAD. Lane cries, and I just want to walk away. Lane knocks over a drink, and I want to scream. Or, the most common, Lane wakes up at 2AM, and I wish he had a snooze button (and sometimes, in my sleep-drunk state, I try to ignore him…).<br />
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But in reality, these are all perfectly normal feelings. I’m sure every mom has felt like a terrible mom for this exact same reason(s).<br />
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Lucky me, I have two REAL examples of being a terrible mom. And it unnerves me how close together these two occurrences happened…<br />
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First off, about a week or so ago, I was giving Lane a bath. Eric and I try to take turns doing this, so the other has a little time to get something else done. On this particular night, he was out running some errands. Lane LOVES the bath. Seriously, he can be cranky and tired and melting down, and you put him in there, he is a new baby. He also loves to stand in the tub. I hate it, it makes me uncomfortable, but he pulls up on everything now and he doesn’t understand why I tell him “no”. Well, that night, we had finished up, and I turned around to pull the water drain and grab a towel, when I hear a terrible squeaky noise followed by a loud thud and lots of screams. Yeah, Lane decided to reach for the soap on the floor and fell OUT OF THE TUB! The whole thing took literally 2 seconds…<br />
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Freak out moment number 1.<br />
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I had no idea what to do. When does a fall warrant a trip to the emergency room?? Did he break anything or have a concussion? Is he just scared? Seriously, this was a screaming cry I have never heard. So I scooped him up and ran into his room, checked him over, while we both cried. I curled up with him in the rocker to try and soothe him, which did eventually work. After about 5 minutes, he was done crying, but I was still scared. He had none of the symptoms I was told to keep an eye out for, but I spent that whole night checking on him almost hourly to make sure he was OK. All he ended up having was a little red spot on his forehead and nose. He literally landed on is face.<br />
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Then a few days later, while in the midst of a terrible teething spell, I had pulled out some teething tablets, gave him two, and set it on a high enough table that I thought they were safe (plus, they have a friggin’ child safety cap). Lane proceeds to play while I do some cleaning up, and after a few minutes, I’ve noticed he has gotten really quiet. I look down at him and he has popped open the bottle and is eating teething tablets like its candy. <br />
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Freak out moment number 2.<br />
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What the eff?? How did you even manage to do that? I, of course, freak and try to count how many are left so I have an idea how many he has eaten… all while Lane cries that I won’t let him continue to do something that makes him so happy (if you don’t know, these tablets dissolve instantly, and he must have found that very neat). I was able to determine he ate about 10. So I read the box. Doesn’t say a max amount to consume in a day, just says to call Poison Control in case of an accidental overdose.<br />
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So I do… and guess what? They LAUGHED at me. That’s right, LAUGHED at the mother who was freaking out. Apparently, you can’t overdose on homeopathic medicines. Then why do you have the number on the friggin’ bottle? Jerks. <br />
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So there you have it. My two prime examples of being a “bad mom”. Hope that helps you all feel a little better :)Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05149780805113822957noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1010611439870165743.post-48565742679931898522011-11-04T12:33:00.000-04:002011-11-04T12:33:20.320-04:00A YEAR!I know, I know; insert typical “sorry I’ve been MIA” comment. Honestly, I just never seem to have the time! After Lane was born, I was busy with healing and being a stay-at-home mom. And now since returning to work this summer, it’s been even harder. I used to be able to take some time during the day at my old job to post (yup, being a good little employee, lol), but now, I’m not usually with a computer, and once I get home, I’m trying to make the most of my few hours with Lane that I just forget. That said, I think I am actually getting into a position where I’ll have time to post more often, so hopefully you’ll be seeing more from me in the future (you know you’re excited). Now onto the goods…<br />
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<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG9ZEJfsTcAb6SQhvrgP1nKaMe6EFSpOgEyk-rhL3kc6XjXMtFGxLNjDrsPWZCYGWtX14GCJjQ3kiwpsNBEoXu-ghEVnBStE8nvn3hAnXA_0N61csI_NWAOnD25xiU13vlOFhtLEtBIM4/s1600/bday2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320px" ida="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG9ZEJfsTcAb6SQhvrgP1nKaMe6EFSpOgEyk-rhL3kc6XjXMtFGxLNjDrsPWZCYGWtX14GCJjQ3kiwpsNBEoXu-ghEVnBStE8nvn3hAnXA_0N61csI_NWAOnD25xiU13vlOFhtLEtBIM4/s320/bday2.jpg" width="213px" /></a></div>First and foremost, it’s been a year… actually, it’s been MORE than a year, but I was too engulfed in my feelings earlier this month to even consider posting about them. October 7th of this year was exciting and upsetting, happy and sad… Eric and I tried our best to focus on Lane but also didn’t want it to seem like we had forgotten or moved on from the loss of Lucas. As a result, we decided to start a new tradition in lighting wish lanterns from October 7th to October 14th in honor of the 7 days Lucas was with us. And out of the 7 nights of lanterns, we only had one potential fire issue, so that was a pretty good record (for those wondering, night six’s lantern got swept up in a gust and stuck in a tree in our backyard...). We are planning to keep this tradition going year after year. I know Lane is too young to understand the sentiment right now, but he enjoyed watching.<br />
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And Lane is getting so big! At his 12 month check up, he was 31.5 inches long and 22 lbs 4 oz… 40th percentile for weight, 97th for height… a long and skinny boy!! I was getting progressively worried as the months went by that he wasn’t crawling yet, but at 11 months, he finally started and he’s been into everything since. That’s one piece of advice I have for everyone; all children are different and do things at different times. I know that he was technically 9 months corrected, but I was still watching all my friend’s kids or other kids at day care surpass Lane, and it automatically would instill a fear that he obviously had some neurological disorder brought on by the accident. <br />
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If you’re anything like me… simma down. I drove myself nuts, and I still do it all the time and have to smack myself to stop. Just because he is a little behind does not mean he has any issues or is hurt. <br />
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Well, time to get back to it, but I wanted to share a few pics of Lane with you guys so you can see what a handsome little fella is he becoming. Hope to talk to you guys soon!!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV35OuywP-Nm939LvGboHGj0XX1pHed-quJP1xMT84XS0T6tw24TnGrlvAvij8kLj16Xmk5eR7LikBgVYYKBsuCpT4vwXx6Cv0y4J8btWbPfA7a34x0WtTp8zCtsiGzFMF0DNqNjwgfOk/s1600/chili+cook+off.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320px" ida="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV35OuywP-Nm939LvGboHGj0XX1pHed-quJP1xMT84XS0T6tw24TnGrlvAvij8kLj16Xmk5eR7LikBgVYYKBsuCpT4vwXx6Cv0y4J8btWbPfA7a34x0WtTp8zCtsiGzFMF0DNqNjwgfOk/s320/chili+cook+off.jpg" width="213px" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">At Chili Cookoff!!</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXWiJF7hJ7GTnGOLrflMFhiEA_Dwtvy0_ROFjhzUj_FgEkKSIU_mHNziqKGKX6gYO_uNb7tW11rWqihz-RctaqFU0Qz2dBcQ4jlQC_XaqP6LBbjMWINeg6rUS4_ojan4rbO424c2IrTDE/s1600/folk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213px" ida="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXWiJF7hJ7GTnGOLrflMFhiEA_Dwtvy0_ROFjhzUj_FgEkKSIU_mHNziqKGKX6gYO_uNb7tW11rWqihz-RctaqFU0Qz2dBcQ4jlQC_XaqP6LBbjMWINeg6rUS4_ojan4rbO424c2IrTDE/s320/folk.jpg" width="320px" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Richmond Folk Festival</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoZ5GTJziAbByT1vjpbE-AjzYiMF6UrsKFAOa48p9Y4y-HQSi7yuVgU9c5_ekyaIEuAHn4CMNyXtUigK53cqyuzojnMEwAfgBrk1ruk5J1askOtP1Hpj1mt-9phcLmY6Twpdpi2K1Jbns/s1600/halloween.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320px" ida="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoZ5GTJziAbByT1vjpbE-AjzYiMF6UrsKFAOa48p9Y4y-HQSi7yuVgU9c5_ekyaIEuAHn4CMNyXtUigK53cqyuzojnMEwAfgBrk1ruk5J1askOtP1Hpj1mt-9phcLmY6Twpdpi2K1Jbns/s320/halloween.jpg" width="213px" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Halloween!!</div><br />
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P.S. In my experience, I’ve notice there have been a lot of people in my personal life that have had questions about a number of things… the accident, Lucas, how either has effected me, having more children, etc, but are understandably uncomfortable to ask. I want to put it out there now that it doesn’t bother me. I haven’t had a question yet that has made me overly uncomfortable, and I actually find it therapeutic to talk about it most of the time. So, that said, if any of you have questions (not that you do, but like I said, putting it out there), please feel free to ask in the comments. It might make for an interesting post in the near future. Again, do not feel bad asking… I know there are lots of things that people are curious about!Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05149780805113822957noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1010611439870165743.post-15689122636758565962011-06-06T19:22:00.000-04:002011-06-06T19:22:00.099-04:00Six months gone by...Wow... I cannot believe six months have gone by since my last post, and I'm the mother of an eight month old (tomorrow, anyway). Time has really flown. You may wonder why I haven't been around, and frankly, there are several reasons. One being I just don't have the time like I used to! Funny enough, at my old job, I was able to blog practically daily, but now that I'm at home with Lane, its like I have zero time. However, time constraints aside, I just haven't had it in me. Several blogs that I follow are twin mommy blogs, and every time I log in, its just a reminder of what could have been. When everything happened in October, I told myself I would put everything out there so that others who may experience loss could know they aren't alone, but sometimes its harder than I imagined.<br />
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As far as what's been going on, Lane is doing GREAT! He's getting so big, and I can't wait for his 9 month appointment to get new measurements. He's rolling around, learning to sit, eating solids three times a day, and is very, very vocal (just like his mommy and daddy). As far as me, I'm getting better everyday. I have been through a lot of physical therapy and am still in pain daily, but I can get around so much better. Like I said before, I'm currently a stay at home mom, but that is mostly because I was laid off while out on disability and have yet to find another job. As a result of that, and the accident, my husband and I decided to relocate to Richmond, VA, so we could be closer to family and, frankly, farther away from DC.<br />
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Our lawsuit is still ongoing, mostly because we are waiting on the state charges to go to court. Its been delayed several times over the past few months for one reason or another, and now is scheduled for later this month. I'm hoping that it isn't continued again because I'm ready to get this over with, and we can't proceed with our civil suit until he is formally charged by the state.<br />
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Honestly, I wish I could say I'm back to my old self or even partly there, but I'm not, and I'm not sure I ever will be. What we went through literally has changed us. While my husband and I are great support systems for each other, I'd be lying to say there has never been any strain on our relationship since the accident. We have shorter tempers and get frustrated more easily, and seem to always take it out on each other. But at the same time, we are there for each other in ways we never were before. We both cherish Lane like you could never imagine, but also feel that hole like something is missing... because it is, HE is. This was not how our life was supposed to be, but its what we were given.<br />
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I think about Lucas, daily. Looking at Lane, I can't help but think what he would look like, how he would act. He is the missing piece in our family, but I feel like I have to suppress that so I can give Lane everything he deserves in life. I just want to be a good mother to him, and protect him, because I wasn't able to protect them like I should have. Yes, I blame myself, but how can I not? No I wasn't driving the vehicle that crashed into me, and no I wasn't the one to run the red light, but I could have changed something to avoid it from happening... and even if that isn't true or realistic, I can't help feeling that way. It was my job to protect them and I failed. <br />
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I don't want to end this on a sad note, though, so instead, I wanted the share a few pictures of Lane, so you can see how big he is now! I'll leave you saying that I hope to get back into blogging more regularly, but I don't want to make any promises. I've already missed six months of new mom-ship that I had hoped to share, but I hope to find the time to keep you up to date on the future.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOuLVg75-8ijC3uGhnVGMsLLAXyHyBzum5kN21n_lp-EHLTVIVtFILdFr0RAcIqaJb9pZJkiqhRgTvOuqHBzfFd5uLT1P3w7LD1G50cbj81r8ZcxUkgm6NK8b1HV9fVN5nE3aG2eFXPJU/s1600/256015_10100318942039453_6209856_52944803_1946136_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOuLVg75-8ijC3uGhnVGMsLLAXyHyBzum5kN21n_lp-EHLTVIVtFILdFr0RAcIqaJb9pZJkiqhRgTvOuqHBzfFd5uLT1P3w7LD1G50cbj81r8ZcxUkgm6NK8b1HV9fVN5nE3aG2eFXPJU/s320/256015_10100318942039453_6209856_52944803_1946136_o.jpg" width="239" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> Out for a walk in our new jogging stroller (no, I don't jog, my bones can't handle it, but I do love trying to get out and about as a form of therapy)</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZsIxX21HWM-8VUnpAsn6rwu0PcB3kR4qtzPdl6OIRlL0IdyD45zhGeoZs2adXvhvNArXe6YlY4my0r3m5gvjlM85UEjQGxtW2RKE7628-geLin4SYpq3yPZXw9_WirPZHZ0MrhAk9VhY/s1600/240955_10100325299528993_6209856_53072586_332073_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZsIxX21HWM-8VUnpAsn6rwu0PcB3kR4qtzPdl6OIRlL0IdyD45zhGeoZs2adXvhvNArXe6YlY4my0r3m5gvjlM85UEjQGxtW2RKE7628-geLin4SYpq3yPZXw9_WirPZHZ0MrhAk9VhY/s320/240955_10100325299528993_6209856_53072586_332073_o.jpg" width="239" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> Sitting up!! It only lasted about a minute but it was a big milestone!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3ehgmQd5tH8A1-2yGgp8hBIYNU6kQzi9olpO_U-VqTIMxKGyg3sq7qw1q7VChwik675hbIMByCYh36c7PntjBRa4JtwBQ0p1Ys3b6e7aYpoqISj2ngCOcTWLjn03Nv-d_mNmLHGR3KW0/s1600/255813_10100324707206013_6209856_53061406_5108961_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3ehgmQd5tH8A1-2yGgp8hBIYNU6kQzi9olpO_U-VqTIMxKGyg3sq7qw1q7VChwik675hbIMByCYh36c7PntjBRa4JtwBQ0p1Ys3b6e7aYpoqISj2ngCOcTWLjn03Nv-d_mNmLHGR3KW0/s320/255813_10100324707206013_6209856_53061406_5108961_o.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> My handsome man!! Love that smile!!</div>Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05149780805113822957noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1010611439870165743.post-7370279657706105102010-12-14T15:33:00.000-05:002010-12-14T15:33:07.762-05:00Meet Lane Carter<div style="text-align: center;">I know everyone has been waiting for pics of Lane, so here are a few!! Enjoy :)</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0uQBdpbQzlcvJ_5jpyyEbQwxEupZJG0Az4qued259f81P6mlJ3FZYM8pgMUYbnYzAxNXuAYoQHQZpdX8JUMG_0SlBMIuEKjU-26jvI2m4NQ2plkDqiIOGbVwQMzecUfKWR4H_lvWrTs8/s1600/IMG_5288.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0uQBdpbQzlcvJ_5jpyyEbQwxEupZJG0Az4qued259f81P6mlJ3FZYM8pgMUYbnYzAxNXuAYoQHQZpdX8JUMG_0SlBMIuEKjU-26jvI2m4NQ2plkDqiIOGbVwQMzecUfKWR4H_lvWrTs8/s320/IMG_5288.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrr-ysdQyLUZouwg0hrYD29OTGO1QsZNxefFP4VH3zek8pmYWdUzXRMUP7QqFY6RDEN7nvLMUI2N_MgeDykRqjUk2poJkDcSxWRNqPA9d_iVBkDLO15nlLbtyyQTLrJS_4NBMEIfR2_8Y/s1600/IMG_5294.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrr-ysdQyLUZouwg0hrYD29OTGO1QsZNxefFP4VH3zek8pmYWdUzXRMUP7QqFY6RDEN7nvLMUI2N_MgeDykRqjUk2poJkDcSxWRNqPA9d_iVBkDLO15nlLbtyyQTLrJS_4NBMEIfR2_8Y/s320/IMG_5294.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigXJloxU3aE8nC-dmyBgJp4g_psMyEd02zoBigI243nz7YCiukSmX3xY6DboOciviHI07_6xXy1RAB4YKfA6feFS8VUHIZYYgTF25BhKsVcU-jbeQGdgjFzJR2IimPBygL6a0ctVy30IE/s1600/IMG_5302.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigXJloxU3aE8nC-dmyBgJp4g_psMyEd02zoBigI243nz7YCiukSmX3xY6DboOciviHI07_6xXy1RAB4YKfA6feFS8VUHIZYYgTF25BhKsVcU-jbeQGdgjFzJR2IimPBygL6a0ctVy30IE/s320/IMG_5302.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXDOIP03YyXK_QNZUXVht-IciF8qkBGbDz6D3s0qn_8lXk_ojYInGRXfofNcwgriNJb3ejo9hNC8UOR-UdeNkAT-0nSa-4TD-j2X9kDNioJZd0cfOsP4NeJRp6kFj6Prz-Df-53jNEoDg/s1600/IMG_5262.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXDOIP03YyXK_QNZUXVht-IciF8qkBGbDz6D3s0qn_8lXk_ojYInGRXfofNcwgriNJb3ejo9hNC8UOR-UdeNkAT-0nSa-4TD-j2X9kDNioJZd0cfOsP4NeJRp6kFj6Prz-Df-53jNEoDg/s320/IMG_5262.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">And from his recent photoshoot from my friend Lisa (<a href="http://www.lisasinclairphotography.com/">website</a>) for our Christmas cards:</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIjRtRIDeUsx641n_9naYLUqvsMvhyi1FFPYQZZ51_deMcDMTSgmGJtyzvnejpGOKNMl7Hzd59DKcQAxo86y4JwHvC_krIfER5j2y6dbJCodq1SuYsYenpWo6rhL72CtixQw-qyPHCVfw/s1600/63145_985732192683_6209856_50863048_4064442_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIjRtRIDeUsx641n_9naYLUqvsMvhyi1FFPYQZZ51_deMcDMTSgmGJtyzvnejpGOKNMl7Hzd59DKcQAxo86y4JwHvC_krIfER5j2y6dbJCodq1SuYsYenpWo6rhL72CtixQw-qyPHCVfw/s320/63145_985732192683_6209856_50863048_4064442_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjalyAfGDMucffxhsbVHEtjHvPehzBp4thuRgpCQFS5zfrYmcsE7Kwj-r86wDiGNbcRXwL3s3hGH7U4FEbFVBjkcTGIUK8U1oNz2tCBPo7fSdTuN0Enc_dVJt8cSKv5GdeFJ75iKgExqqA/s1600/155653_985731698673_6209856_50863035_938814_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjalyAfGDMucffxhsbVHEtjHvPehzBp4thuRgpCQFS5zfrYmcsE7Kwj-r86wDiGNbcRXwL3s3hGH7U4FEbFVBjkcTGIUK8U1oNz2tCBPo7fSdTuN0Enc_dVJt8cSKv5GdeFJ75iKgExqqA/s320/155653_985731698673_6209856_50863035_938814_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheYt4GRhyphenhyphenwNhhy_qeWxsgnjiTgqwbb2A1hlP3rRWOcwrINFV-CXyVlT3jDbFyXg07da0UF2ljoT0BaQefeqjp-FjARTphE_sQF7AFxCXwyyyHH7T-kmZEvgSM_qAQx7tvQ6OGyEYY5ztc/s1600/163000_985731553963_6209856_50863031_6407106_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheYt4GRhyphenhyphenwNhhy_qeWxsgnjiTgqwbb2A1hlP3rRWOcwrINFV-CXyVlT3jDbFyXg07da0UF2ljoT0BaQefeqjp-FjARTphE_sQF7AFxCXwyyyHH7T-kmZEvgSM_qAQx7tvQ6OGyEYY5ztc/s320/163000_985731553963_6209856_50863031_6407106_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05149780805113822957noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1010611439870165743.post-34628435533069506382010-12-14T14:13:00.000-05:002010-12-14T14:13:03.945-05:00The Battle of the BreastI HATE my breasts... they are failing me, and all it does is make me feel guilty. Even when I was expecting two mouths to feed, I was planning to breastfeed as much as possible, and only supplement as needed. Now, it seems like the opposite.. like I am only supplementing with breastmilk.<br />
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Even with everything that happened to me, I still worked really, REALLY hard. The second I came to my senses in the hospital, I asked for a pump, and when I was transferred to another hospital for rehab, I still kept it up as much as possible. I even thought I was doing good, getting several ounces (2-3) each time I pumped. I knew I should be pumping more often, but it was hard with all my rehab and the drugs that I was on, so I just did the best I could, knowing it might not be enough. <br />
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Then it just started to turn south. I tried Fenugreek, and eating oatmeal, and lots of water, and pumping all the time, but I just kept getting less and less. I told myself, "well, I just need to get him to latch on, then my milk will come in" because that's what the lactation consultant said. Well, that was a battle in itself, and we would both get so frustrated. He only latched on a couple times, but most just screamed at me. So, I gave up... and now, I can only pump out 10-30 mL (basically 1 ounce or less) each time I pump.<br />
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Its so frustrating, because I feel like I am letting Lane and myself down. Not to mention it is SO hard for my husband to understand. He sees that I can't pump enough, but he thinks I didn't try hard enough to get Lane latched on. OK, fine, I'll agree with him, maybe I gave up to fast, but it was just really frustrating with everything else on my plate. All I want to hear from him is that its OK to give up on pumping. Not that I would, but I just want to know he'd support me if I did.<br />
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So, my battle is still on. I still try with pumping, but really only get enough every two days for one feeding. Is it even worth it?? Ughh!!!!Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05149780805113822957noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1010611439870165743.post-91332011725326887772010-12-01T20:16:00.003-05:002010-12-01T20:36:22.705-05:00Catching Up...I can't believe its been almost two months since my accident, and since the delivery of my sweet baby boys. So much has happened since then. I, of course, have tons to share, but have been so busy that I haven't really had the time. I'll try to catch everyone up now and will try to be better in blogging now that that's have started to calm down a bit.<br />
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As you all know, I had a very serious accident in early October at 33w4d pregnant. As a result, I had an emergency c-section for the delivery of my twin boys, Lucas and Lane. Sadly, Lucas did not make it, due to severe brain damage that had him in a coma since his birth. We took him off life support at 7 days old. It was probably the hardest thing I ever had to go through. I never knew loss or grief like that, and I still haven't dealt with it 100%. I'm not sure I ever will, but I know that my feelings on the subject are best saved for a post of its own, especially in the event anyone else out there experiences something similar. We were fortunate enough to have the group "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep" present to capture photographs of Eric and me with Lucas, which we will cherish forever. We haven't brought ourselves to look at them yet, but we were sent the disk. Its something my husband and I will do together when we are both ready.<br />
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On a happier note, Lane is doing wonderfully. He spent about a month in the NICU. While his overall growth was great, his lungs were (and still are) very immature, which caused him to have several "spells" of desats while in the hospital (in other words, he would stop/slow his breathing so much that his oxygen levels would significantly drop). As a result, he was sent home on an apnea monitor when he left. The monitor, in itself, was a trial and an experience. The entire first day it would alarm non-stop, but never due to an apnea issue. All the alarms were due to the leads falling off. Luckily, the in-home nurse who came to check on him gave us some tape that solved the issue. He now only needs to wear the monitor when he sleeps at night or if we are not in the room with him, and he will likely be off the monitor next week. The funny thing is I am scared to take him off. Its been annoying to deal with but its always been a safety feature to know he is breathing!!<br />
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In other Lane news, he is growing wonderfully. He weighed 4 lbs 8 oz when born, and now weighs 7 lbs 15 oz (at 8 weeks old). He completely cracks me up. He is such a happy baby, except after meals, as he has some reflux issues. As a result, he is now on Zantac twice a day. Its helping some, but he is still uncomfortable after each meal, and spits up all the time. Its a work in progress to find the right medication for him.<br />
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Now, on to me. I had a laundry list of issues as a result of the accident, including several broken bones (pelvis, left collar bone and shoulder, several ribs and vertebra, and tailbone) and what is called a mild TBI, or traumatic brain injury, a.k.a. brain bleed. The TBI is actually why I blacked out after the accident and can't remember several things, including my first days in the hospital. After spending a few days in the trauma ICU, I was moved to the surgery tower. I had surgery on my pelvic bone and now have two huge screws holding it together. After a week, I was transferred to another hospital, away from my baby, to a rehab specific hospital, where I spent several hours a day learning to walk and other skills. When I left after two weeks, I could walk with a walker, as I could not put weights on my left side, and I had a wheelchair for longer distances (for instance, visiting Lane in the NICU, since he was there for about a week after I was released). Now I can put weight on my left side, but I still am using the walker. I started outpatient PT today and will hopefully be moving to a cane in the next week or so.<br />
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I've had a lot of help since my accident. My husband was out of work on leave to help, and I wouldn't be able to make it without him. I know how stressful it must have been for him, but he really did everything in the world for me, including turning our dining room into a little bedroom for Lane and me since I can't get upstairs. My mom has also been a huge help. She lives out of town, but has spent a lot of time with us, and she will be coming next week since Eric will be going back to work. I'm out of work on disability until March, and may even stay out after it ends, to be with Lane. <br />
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Like I said, a lot has been going on in the past two months, but I felt like I couldn't start back my blogging until I caught everyone up. Even with everything that happened, I do feel blessed. I am lucky to be alive, especially when I see pictures of my car! I'm lucky to have a happy and healthy son, even if it wasn't exactly what I planned and prepared for. I'm lucky for my husband, my family, and my friends. So many people have reached out to us, with food, and maid services, and many other things. I didn't know so many people cared, but I truly feel blessed. It doesn't mean I don't have pity parties, because I do, but they pass and have becoming fewer and farther between.<br />
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So that is everything... and I'm going to work to keep up with blogging from here on out. I want to share everything I think and feel, because hearing from others who went though something similar has been helpful for me, and I want to be helpful to others. I have so many thoughts on grief and loss, and struggles, and blessings, but I also want to document Lane's life and growth. <br />
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Talk to you all soon! (and hopefully my futures posts won't be so long!!)Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05149780805113822957noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1010611439870165743.post-46017629589437455692010-10-20T20:50:00.001-04:002010-10-24T11:52:11.253-04:00Because It Only Takes a Moment to Change Your World...I know that many of you are wondering where I have been these past two weeks. Some of you are aware of the events that have come to pass, but I am starting to feel like I am in a place to share with you my story. This could be long, it will be sad, and it may border on graphic, but regardless, I wanted to share my story.<br />
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Two weeks ago tomorrow, on Thursday October 7th, my life was changed forever. I decided to leave work a few minutes early to go by the mall and pick up some long sleeved maternity shirts. It was a quick, in and out trip... or so I had thought.<br />
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As I left the mall, I waited at my light to take the left hand turn that would take me home. When my light turned green, I saw the other cars around me stop, and so I pulled out. And there waiting for me was am ambulance, although I didn't know it at the time. I saw it for only a split second, then there was darkness. I woke to being cut out of the car, while a woman spoke to me, asking me questions.<br />
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All I could scream was that I was pregnant. No matter how much I knew they already knew didn't matter. I needed to be sure. The second thing I can remember was trying to give Eric's name and number. He needed to be there. I knew what was going to happen, and he had to be there...<br />
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I couldn't tell them my name, nor could I relay what happened (that came later), but I needed my boys to be OK. I could tell the doctor's were worried as we were rushed into the O.R. There was no time to prepare; as I started to cry, they put me under. I woke up soon afterwards in the Trauma ICU, very aware of what had happened and how much pain I was in. While making my left hand turn, a private emergency transport vehicle T-boned me directly on the driver's side.<br />
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The doctors (with Eric) went through my laundry list of broken bones: left collar bone, left shoulder, several ribs on the left side, several cracked vertebra, tail bone, and pelvic bone (into three pieces), along with some bleeding in my brain. Of all the broken bones, the only one considered operable was the pelvic bone, which would need to wait until Saturday.<br />
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It wasn't until I made it very clear how much I didn't care about my injuries that I was taken seriously and told how my boys were. Both were delivered via emergency c-section at 33w4d. Lane, a.k.a. Baby B, was relatively good. He was taken to the NICU and put into an isolette to control his temperature. He had a CT scan along with some other tests but overall was very good. Lucas, on the other hand, was not so well. It became very obvious why they hadn't filled me in on his condition yet.. it simply wasn't good. Eric wanted to tell me... he wanted to take me to him. I knew something very serious was wrong.<br />
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My poor boy was low in my pelvis when the accident happened, and he was crushed. As a result, he had severe brain damage and never woke from his coma. We waited for several days to see if anything would change, but it didn't. We baptized him early Thursday morning, then had several pictures taken (<a href="http://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.com/">http://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.com/</a>) before stopping his ventilator. Eric and I then held him, cried, comforted each other... for hours. Together in our sadness. Until his last breath and heartbeat. <br />
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There is still so much to say but I am pushing on my own abilities, fighting back tears and exhaustion. Lucas was cremated today and we will have someone pick him up soon. I bought a necklace to keep some of his ashes with me forever, and should be here tomorrow. I stayed in the same hospital as Lane until Friday when I was transferred to another rehab specific hospital. I spend 3-4 hours a day working one of one with physical or occupational therapists, as well as some individual exercises. I will likely be here for another two weeks before going home, after which I will have someone come to my house several times a week. I'm currently in a wheelchair but am learning to walk (and will hopefully do so by the end of the year). <br />
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Honestly, I am not ready to deal with my loss. I have lost a son, I know that. He was beautiful, and I prayed harder than ever before, but right now, my focus has to be on getting better, and providing for Lane, who is still in the NICU. I'm just not ready to deal with it, because by doing so, I'll be letting other things in as well. Other things like the blame... blame of myself, blame of the driver. Or the 'what next?'s. I can't let myself feel so broken right now.<br />
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That's all for tonight. I can't do much more. But I will continue to post. You need to know more about Lane. You need to know more about Lucas. It will all come in time.<br />
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Love you all.Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05149780805113822957noreply@blogger.com96tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1010611439870165743.post-80947440155271900142010-10-04T11:10:00.001-04:002010-10-04T11:10:40.438-04:00Baby Holden PageExciting news to share! My nephew, Holden Page, was born on Friday, October 1st. He was 7 lbs 10 oz and 19.5 inches long. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to officially meet him, because I am on travel restrictions, but I was lucky enough to Skype with my sister and the little man on Saturday night. He is adorable. He has the cutest chubby cheeks. I cannot wait to hold and squeeze and spoil him to bits!<br />
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I don't have any pictures right now, but hopefully someone will send me some soon and I can share with you, but I just wanted to share the big news. The first grandson in our family is here, and two more will be on the way shortly. My parents will have their hands full with three grandsons only one month apart.Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05149780805113822957noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1010611439870165743.post-59964353928222915462010-10-04T10:17:00.000-04:002010-10-04T10:17:39.145-04:00Son of a....Ugh, I'm so pissed. I made it almost 34 weeks without a single stretch mark, and must have gotten a bit cocky about that, because they have shown up. All weekend, the underside of my stomach (to the left of my navel, and area I cannot see) was itching like crazy. I finally got out some mirrors to check it out, and there they were, two little stretch marks. Its nothing too terrible yet, but I'm sure this is just the start. Apparently all the "lubing up" and excessive water drinking didn't help. I thought I'd be lucky, considering my mom did not get stretch marks, but doesn't seem so. Oh well!!<br />
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I've also hit hard into the "third trimester insomnia". I've had to start taking a Benadryl at night to sleep, but even last night that didn't help. I think I got a combined total of 30 minutes of sleep. Its making today pretty rough!<br />
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Other than that, there really isn't much going on right now (just trying to stay off my feet... have to make it through this week to stay on track with my FMLA plans). We had planned to take care of a lot of baby related items this weekend, but ended up just spending time with Layla. She was doing really good this weekend, but got sick this morning. The hardest part for us right now is the waiting. We have no idea when the cancer is really going to hit her. It could be tonight, it could be next month. Its causing a lot of stress, both because the idea of her passing away breaks our heart, but also because the babies are expected in about a month. It really is the worst timing we could ever have. It wouldn't be easy regardless, but the timing definitely makes it even harder. Our biggest fear is that I will go into labor right at the same time she has another collapse. Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05149780805113822957noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1010611439870165743.post-16330738992056844072010-09-30T12:41:00.000-04:002010-09-30T12:41:05.700-04:0032w4dToday was my last of the "every-other-week" appointments. I graduated today to weekly appointments. And, I also graduated to weekly ultrasounds starting the week of October 11th. So I'm going to be very busy with appointments from here on out, until the boys are here (and, I guess, even after they are here, considering all the pediatrician visits in our future!).<br />
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Both boys were doing good. Their heartbeats were in the 150s-160s, and they were kicking at the dopplar, which was fun. My doctor put my mind at ease about the whole mucus plug incident, saying most likely it was only part of it, and even if it was all of it, it doesn't mean I need to worry. She laughed and asked if I reached in the toilet to get it, to which I had to blush... even though I didn't do that, I definitely thought about it for about 5 minutes. Apparently, I am not the only one, which makes me feel like less of a crazy person.<br />
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The only item of concern today was my slightly elevated blood pressure. It wasn't terrible, but it was definitely higher than it has been. I asked if it could be due to our Layla woes (which was hard enough to get out without crying), and she said that most likely it is. I also expressed concern that the boys weren't moving as much the past day or two, and that I was worried my stress was effecting them. She said it is probably more likely that I am just not noticing it as much, or that my being more active is keeping them asleep. She said try not to worry, as if I am already upset and stressed, I don't need to make it any worse.<br />
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And for those who are curious, we were able to pick up Layla and bring her home yesterday afternoon. Our vet was great, and really spent the time with us to talk about what happens next. He does not expect her to make it past a month, and most likely, a new rupture could happen within the week. We were giving a medicine to help with blood clotting, and it comes with a red "emergency" pill. They said it may be able to help for a small leak, like she had Tuesday night, but would still be delaying the inevitable. She was in good spirits when we picked her up, but some of it was probably adrenaline. She went to sleep quickly after we got home, and was not quite herself this morning. I know she is feeling bad, which just breaks my heart. Eric and I are just trying to spend as much time with her as possible before its too late, and to spoil her to pieces. We know how much she hates the vet (considering how many surgeries and other visits she has had over her 8 years of life), so we are looking into mobile vets that come to your house. We want her to be in a place she loves when she has to go.Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05149780805113822957noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1010611439870165743.post-72954385122342419472010-09-29T13:47:00.000-04:002010-09-29T13:47:36.361-04:00Bad Night Leads to Bad Day<b>First I want to preface that this is 100% not baby related (at least not in the traditional sense).</b><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhScsJSPUuChnV3_paVaQ1D6ls0pK-5_KAbO23TV_HhzTV97kTZkTt-63_CUJdrINTkwEFs2vAU7KOpTqWpf96Jo6EmVbMKz-uZVyhbCFUW7Q6mCzVwOOj93rSBXGi15fPHPNzCEe_MlKM/s1600/6250_758782850983_6209856_43066612_6069503_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhScsJSPUuChnV3_paVaQ1D6ls0pK-5_KAbO23TV_HhzTV97kTZkTt-63_CUJdrINTkwEFs2vAU7KOpTqWpf96Jo6EmVbMKz-uZVyhbCFUW7Q6mCzVwOOj93rSBXGi15fPHPNzCEe_MlKM/s320/6250_758782850983_6209856_43066612_6069503_n.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>As many of you know from my posts over the spring, Eric's and my fur-baby, Layla, had cancer. We found a mass tumor on her spleen that had ruptured. As a result, she had emergency surgery in the spring to remove her spleen, and spent the next 10 weeks receiving chemotherapy. <br />
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Over the past few months, she has been doing really well. All of her fur has grown back from the chemo, and her activity has very much improved. But last night, she took a bad turn. At around 10:30PM, she essentially collapsed. We rushed her to the emergency vet, ran several tests, and stayed until almost 2AM, but still didn't have any answers other than her blood pressure was severely low. <br />
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This morning, her oncologist ran some additional tests and found that there is now a mass on her liver. It appears like she had a small rupture last night, which caused her to bleed internally and for her blood pressure to drop. We knew the cancer spreading was a possibility since the original mass has ruptured, but we were hoping the chemo would delay the onset. <br />
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Right now, she is doing OK. They think the rupture was small enough that it seems to have healed itself, but it is very likely this will happen again. It could be tonight, it could be next month. We decided after the chemo that we could not afford additional treatments, nor do we want to put her through that again. As a result, all we can do right now is spend as much time as possible with her and make her comfortable. Sometime in the near future we will have a very difficult decision to make.<br />
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We are picking her up at 3PM today and meeting with the oncologist to let him know what we have decided. Please keep her in your thoughts!Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05149780805113822957noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1010611439870165743.post-79943488975879180802010-09-27T16:54:00.000-04:002010-09-27T16:54:18.815-04:00Plugged Up? (potential TMI alert)So I wanted to spend today's blog update filling everyone in on my hospital tour this weekend, or my anxiety over family members visiting during delivery, or any other number of things that's been going on as of late, but last night's events changed that, and those posts will just be saved for another time.<br />
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What happened, you might ask? Well, I think I may have lost my mucus plug, or at least part of it. I spent most of last night terrified that this was the beginning of the end, and the babies were coming way earlier than expected. Right now, I can say I've calmed down a bit, but not much.<br />
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Basically at around 8PM last night, I went to use the restroom. Everything went according to plan, I peed, wiped, stood up and went to flush when I noticed it. While all the toilet paper was floating at the top of bowl, something white or translucent (i.e. no blood as far as I could tell) and about the size of a raspberry was floating down the pot towards where the water flushes out. <br />
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My initial immediate reaction was to reach in and grab it to be sure, but I thought better of it (on account of the fact that the bowl was less than clean). So instead, I just stood in the bathroom staring at it for about 5 minutes before giving up and flushing it. Sadly, I have to admit, I just wish I had gone the gross route and picked it up so I would know for sure.<br />
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Of course, I immediately went to the WTE forums and posted a question on my home board. I didn't know if I should call the doctor or just wait it out until my next appointment. I have just become so overly worried about these boys coming early that I have panicked. Luckily, I have calmed down today. No bleeding or cramping, so based on what I have read, I believe it may have only been part of my MP, or possibly just some discharge, I'm not sure, but I will be bringing this up at my next appointment on Thursday. That said, ANYONE with experience in this area, please fill me in. Does it sound like MP to you? Should I be worried??<br />
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On another note, the countdown for me has begun. To be able to stay out of work until January 3rd, I have to stay in the office until October 11th (which means no birth or bedrest before that date). That's 14 more days. Keep your fingers crossed, I hope I can make it!Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05149780805113822957noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1010611439870165743.post-71256072736409378632010-09-22T14:32:00.000-04:002010-09-22T14:32:13.499-04:0032 weeks (or 31w3d to be exact)Just realized I haven't shared a belly pic in a while, so here you go!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAWraj8zgW4UtOIgLRylVAVTdfXcPAlnUc9b3LKh6ZbIy-Ngrgr24gGmsZbJUoGkKVI-jDwt57ivbHRIfuQgJHTelcPyKp1WcVXSIMzZ66QNa-rfkzPK53y09qepHraWpOzU75cLH3oBo/s1600/31w2d+bump.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAWraj8zgW4UtOIgLRylVAVTdfXcPAlnUc9b3LKh6ZbIy-Ngrgr24gGmsZbJUoGkKVI-jDwt57ivbHRIfuQgJHTelcPyKp1WcVXSIMzZ66QNa-rfkzPK53y09qepHraWpOzU75cLH3oBo/s320/31w2d+bump.JPG" /></a></div><br />
If you haven't noticed before, I "cleverly" hide my face with my cell phone in every shot. I hate that my face is swollen (along with everything else), so anything I can do to disguise it will be done. But do you know what doesn't hide it? Chopping all my hair off! I've spent the past several months growing out my bangs. Its been a tedious process that I am still not 100% sure I of (I reallllly do like and miss my bangs), but admittedly, they made me look young and it was time for a change. They had finally grown out to about my chin, and all of a sudden it seemed like a good idea to make all my hair the same length. I broke the rule... the "you shouldn't make drastic changes to your appearance when pregnant" rule. I see now that there is a reason for said rule. My hair doesn't behave like it did before. It is genuinely different now that I am pregnant, and it lacks the body needed to pull this off.<br />
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Funny enough, this isn't the first time I have made a major hair mistake. In college, I had a run in with a box of hair dye that made my hair black as night, and I ended up having to color correct it. Then there was the perm of 2006, where I was convinced to get a wave put into my hair... only my hair reacted poorly (probably because it hadn't fully recovered from the color correction a year or so beforehand), turn into a frizzy, poodle mess, and a lot of the color just drained out. It was a sad, sad day. Of course, I took everything I learned from <i>Legally Blonde</i>, jumped in the shower, and tried to wash the perm away, but that just made it worse. Eric came home from work to find me laying in the bath tub, crying, with a bottle of tine. My hair has never really recovered (I have to straighten it now because the curls stayed, and I have the worst frizz, especially in this wonderful Virginia humidity).<br />
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So in comparison, this really isn't so bad. It will grow out soon enough, and for the time being I can enjoy only needing about 5 minutes to dry my hair (which is one of my least favorite things to do, along with cleaning the shower).Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05149780805113822957noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1010611439870165743.post-30029712950945447002010-09-22T14:11:00.000-04:002010-09-22T14:11:09.767-04:00Disability Claims... to SUCKLet me tell you, I think the single most annoying thing I have had to do so far is set up my disability claims, which, coincidentally, I did today. I thought it would be a simple "Hey, I'm knocked up, keep me in mind in the future when I need continued payment", but not so much. <br />
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In an effort to stay "ahead of the game", I decided to forgo the whole "call 30 days before your due date" rule and just call now. I mean, even though my official due date is 11/21, my scheduled delivery is 11/8, and all my doctors keep telling me the chances of my making it to 11/8 is slim (which really just makes me more anxious... if you can't tell, I really like to have things planned out as much as possible). But try explaining that to a benefits center. It went <b>way </b>over their head. <br />
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Then of course, as soon as I get it through to the benefits center what my plan is, I get transferred to the company who covers my short term disability to explain <b>everything </b>I just did to an even more dense person, if that is even possible. The whole process is two hours of my life that I will never get back. But at least its mostly over and done (considering I still have to call both of them once the babies are here).<br />
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All these rules just drive me nuts. After more than 5 years of working here, I am covered at 100% pay for 5 months STD, but then that pesky FMLA comes into play, which says regardless of how long I am covered or how much PTO I may have, I can only be out for 12 weeks and expect to have my job waiting for me. I really want to come back in January (for mostly selfish reasons as I want to be out for the holidays), which means I cannot be out of work any earlier than 10/11, which is slightly less than 3 weeks away. I have my fingers tightly crossed that nothing happens to put me out any earlier than that, but it would be my luck if it did. I'm holding on tight to all the stories I have heard about twin mommas lasting until 38-39 weeks. I hope I am that lucky (if that is the right word... because 6 more weeks seems like hell right now), but at the very least, I need to last until 35-36 weeks without delivery or bedrest to keep my original plan.Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05149780805113822957noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1010611439870165743.post-74596024623462001792010-09-20T15:18:00.000-04:002010-09-20T15:18:51.963-04:0032 Weeks (or 31w1d for those who want to be exact)And the boys just keep on growing!<br />
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First off, we had a check up on Friday, which was quick and easy. Both heartbeats sounded great, my blood pressure is awesome (so the mass swelling at least is not preeclampsia related), and we basically just hashed out the results of my glucose test and iron deficiency, which I was already aware of anyway. They also started filling out the forms to schedule my delivery at 38 weeks, so if they do not come early on their own, the boys will be here either on November 8th or 9th (official date and time should be given to me at my next appointment). I'm all registered at the hospital, so that is set, and this weekend, we have our tour.<br />
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This morning, we had our monthly ultrasound to check on the boys growth, and they are doing very well indeed. Both of them are weighing in at around 4 lbs 4 oz (which is just a bit larger than the suggested 3.75-3.9 lbs that most babies average at this point, according to BabyCenter.com and WTE.com)... that means I have about 9 lbs of baby in me right now! No wonder I can barely breathe!<br />
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As you can imagine based on their weights, they are measuring a little ahead (as they have the whole time)... They have big ol' melons, measuring at around 33w, and their bodies are measuring at a little over 32w. My doctors and the radiologists don't think I am going to make it to 38w, but we will see! I haven't had any complications, so I am hoping to last a bit longer. Then again, I don't know how much more baby my body can handle!!<br />
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Lastly, I want to thank my friend Courtney (at <a href="http://spedteachcourtney.blogspot.com/">When I Least Expected It</a>) for helping me out and passing along her double Snap N Go to me! She has 1 year old twin girls (who are absolutely adorable BTW). It exchanged several hands in its journey to Northern VA, but my hubby picked it up this weekend, and I am so excited to use it! All the twin mommies I have talked to (mostly on the WTE blogs) say the Snap N Go is the way to go, and Courtney was no exception! She raved about how helpful and wonderful this piece of equipment is. I cannot wait to get home and test it out! Thanks again Courtney!!Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05149780805113822957noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1010611439870165743.post-45550719666100422992010-09-15T13:53:00.000-04:002010-09-15T13:53:16.851-04:00Pity and PamperingI'm starting to think I look like a house. I didn't think it was that bad, but when I run into people at work or friends I haven't seen in a few weeks (or even random strangers for that matter), they just get this look on their face and exclaim, "Wow, when are you due?!!", like I couldn't possibly make it another second without my water breaking. Bless Eric, he tries to make me feel better about it, telling me over and over again that I look great and its just because they haven't seen me in a while, but I can't help but think I have trick mirrors at home that have let me believe I look normal.<br />
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In other growing news, my feet are still out of control. The swelling just started a couple weeks ago, but it has gotten out of hand. When people see me, they first zero in on my stomach, then move down to the feet and go "Aww, you poor thing!". Yes, my feel look like hams and my ankles may as well be broken, and they are so sore I want to cry, but lets not point it out to the few surrounding people who maybe haven't noticed yet. <br />
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This week, my hands decided to join in on the fun too. I already couldn't wear my rings, but now I feel like I have arthritis mixed with carpal tunnel... because they are either painful or tingly and asleep. I don't know what wakes me up more at night now: the lack of blood flow to my hands or my bladder.<br />
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Really, I don't mean to whine, because when it comes down to it, I feel pretty good all things considered, but I definitely feel uncomfortable and exhausted. I want to nest, but I have literally zero energy to do so. At this rate, the nursery will never be ready!<br />
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Lucky for me, I've decided to have a pampering weekend this Saturday. For my birthday (in March), Eric and my sister gave me a gift certificate to a spa in our area. I tried to get a massage pretty much immediately, but found out I couldn't because, at the time, I was only 5 weeks pregnant, and they do not give massages to anyone in the first trimester (which at the time was news to me). So this weekend will be my prenatal massage, followed by a haircut, and possibly a pedicure. I cannot wait. I love me some pampering!! Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05149780805113822957noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1010611439870165743.post-32364451201455265092010-09-10T09:46:00.000-04:002010-09-10T09:46:47.055-04:00A week behindI didn't even realize that I hadn't posted about my most recent doctor's appointment, and its been a week! I think its because of the holiday and my inability to focus on ANYTHING. But I digress...<br />
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Last Friday, I had my glucose tolerance test (yay, good times... that drink was SICK, and the fact that you have less than 5 minutes to drink it is even less fun...). With the weekend and holiday, I didn't get my results until Wednesday, but I am happy to say<b> I PASSED</b>! Words cannot express how happy I am about this. I really didn't want to have to go back for the 3 hour test. I was worried because, to be honest, I eat <b>a lot</b> of sweets... definitely a lot more than I probably should (especially now that the candy corn is out for sale; I seriously ate a whole bag in one day, I was so disgusted with myself). According to my doctor, you want to be under 130 mg/dl, and my results were 102 mg/dl. <br />
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BUT, along with finding out that I did good on the GTT, I found out I have an iron deficiency. I knew it was a possibility, as she mentioned it during the appointment on Friday, but it was made official on Wednesday. Now in addition to my daily prenatal vitamins and extra 2000 IU of Vitamin D, I have to take an iron supplement (called Slow FE). Plus, my doctor said to be prepared and just start taking a stool softener daily, because lets me honest, additional iron can only hurt a pregnant woman's digestive system at this point. So many pills! To make it even better, I swear these pills smell like raw bloody meat. It may just be me and my overactive pregnant nose, but every time I open the bottle, I want to die. It just smells like uncooked ground beef... ick. <br />
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On the plus side, the additional iron might help snap me out of the dreary tired funk I have been in for weeks. Apparently, lack of iron can really affect you, and it might explain why I am exhausted literally from the second I wake up in the morning until 8 or 9 o'clock at night (basically all but 2 of my waking hours). I've only been taking it for two days, but I hope to see some improvements soon!<br />
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In other news, this weekend will be my last out of town visit for the rest of the pregnancy. I got the OK from my doctor to go to Blacksburg this weekend (with some restrictions and rules to follow, of course), so I can attend at least one of the home VT football games, as well as the shower my mother-in-law is throwing on Sunday. I honestly couldn't tell you which I am more excited for... probably the football game, but that may just be because it happens first :-D.<br />
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Annnd to wrap up, here is this week's belly pic! Enjoy!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX6EA3GwS5SHEhxTTyFpd0ftFrGyQ6by1AJSU2Sxc0k-GazgCn6mp8P3GL7l9Px8gzmYbCh9vmvoeWfXQ31rp3jIodXGZdC7iQjuDAOHvUb-T8Y_LbQapZiAc3L_apniROc227BlO1HKc/s1600/29w4d+bump.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX6EA3GwS5SHEhxTTyFpd0ftFrGyQ6by1AJSU2Sxc0k-GazgCn6mp8P3GL7l9Px8gzmYbCh9vmvoeWfXQ31rp3jIodXGZdC7iQjuDAOHvUb-T8Y_LbQapZiAc3L_apniROc227BlO1HKc/s320/29w4d+bump.JPG" /></a></div> Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05149780805113822957noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1010611439870165743.post-73125588065917031732010-09-08T15:27:00.000-04:002010-09-08T15:27:32.660-04:0030 Weeks<strong>How Far Along</strong>: 30 weeks<br />
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<strong>Total Weight Gained/Loss</strong>: Big sad face, between 25-30 lbs. I've really started packing on the poundage!<br />
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<strong>Maternity Clothes</strong>: I don't think I will ever go back to regular pants again :-D<br />
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<strong>Sleep</strong>: At best, 2 hours at a time... between having to pee all the time, and finding a comfortable position, it's been hard.<br />
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<strong>Best Moment of the Week</strong>: Not baby related, but Hokie football season started!! Yes, I know, we lost, but still the tailgating was fun as always and I got to ride in the little golf cart to and from the stadium. No walking for me!<br />
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<strong>Movement</strong>: Still lots of movement... not as many kicks and jabs, but lots of rolling around. Watching my belly has become one of the most entertaining things in the world. Plus, Lane (aka Baby B) constantly has the hiccups, so that's fun too.<br />
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<strong>Food Craving</strong>: None really... always wanting sweets, but really not craving anything particular or weird.<br />
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<strong>Food aversions</strong>: Still eggs (scrambled or fried), and some meats (like brats, which I discovered this weekend).<br />
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<strong>Morning sickness</strong>: None, I've really lucked out here.<br />
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<strong>Gender</strong>: TWO BOYS! Big healthy boys! They have been measuring ahead of schedule this whole time.<br />
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<strong>Labor Signs</strong>: None, thank GOD, I would freak out.<br />
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<strong>Belly Button</strong>: Reached maximum capacity, I definitely have an outtie now. <br />
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<strong>Stretch Marks</strong>: So far, so dodging the bullet *knock on wood*<br />
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<strong>Wedding rings</strong>: Sadly, cannot wear my rings anymore. Previously, I had just been wearing my wedding band, but even that is too tight now. And if I manage to get it on my sausage of a finger, its so tight that is just looks bad. So I've stopped wearing them all together and hope the swelling ends soon.<br />
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<strong>Exercise</strong>: Only if sitting on my butt counts... or trying to clean the house.<br />
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<strong>What I miss</strong>: Alcohol... this is not going to change until I can drink again <br />
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<strong>What I'm looking forward to</strong>: My second baby shower this weekend. I had a shower in Lynchburg a couple weeks ago with my family, and this weekend's shower will be in Blacksburg with Eric's family.<br />
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<strong>Other NEW news this week</strong>: I was hoping to have my Glucose test results for you, but alas, not yet. Looks like I am going to have to call them and find out.<br />
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<strong>Weekly Wisdom</strong>: I think I am too sleepy to have any wisdom.<br />
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<strong>Favorite item bought this week</strong>: My mom bought some adorable "Home from the Hospital" outfits. So exciting!!Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05149780805113822957noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1010611439870165743.post-8062604190006716632010-09-02T11:33:00.000-04:002010-09-02T11:33:19.554-04:00200 Days!I have been pregnant for 200 days, and am starting to really feel it! Granted, I know this number isn't EXACT, since it also includes those two weeks where you aren't actually pregnant, but the tickers say 200, so I'm going with 200.<br />
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I am really dragging butt as of late. Walking up and down stairs is a chore for me, and trying to keep our house clean is even harder. My brain function is seriously diminished, so it takes me twice as long to get simple tasks at work done, which makes me feel significantly less efficient. My feet are so swollen that my shoes hurt. Seriously, I don't mean whiny "please rub my feet" pain, but swollen, bruised, hot, itchy pain. My feet look like hams, and my ankles look like they are sprained. My fingers are so swollen that I have officially had to retire my wedding rings. And of course, my venture into Google didn't help, since now all I am worried about is Toxemia (because obviously the swelling isn't just normal pregnancy related swelling but something serious... have I mentioned before I'm a slight hypochondriac?).<br />
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What's worse (to me, anyway) is that there was a small part of my that thought my sister (who is about 5 weeks ahead of me in pregnancy) and I actually looked about the same size-wise. Umm, no. My mom took a picture of us this weekend and not even close. I am seriously double her size. I know, I know, there's two in there, believe me I didn't forget, but I actually had been holding onto a small hope that I didn't look like it.<br />
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But now I know why people ask me every day if I will be put on bedrest; because I look like I need to be! I think everyone at work is just waiting for me to collapse.<br />
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On a happier note, 200 days means <b>only 2 months left in my pregnancy</b>. As I said before, my doctor will not let me go pass 38 weeks, so they are scheduling me for the first week of November if they haven't arrived on their own before then. I'm getting to that point where I am scared of going early. For starters, I would LOVE to avoid any NICU time, obviously, but I have other selfish reasons, namely working out my maternity leave. I get 8 weeks total, so giving birth the first week of November would be perfect to get me through to January before having to come back to work (i.e. off the whole Holiday season, which is a huge plus for me!). I also have saved up several weeks of PTO (paid time off) so I could technically stay out longer. However, if they come early, or if I am put on bedrest and can't work, I only have 12 weeks of job protection under FMLA. So I reallly want to make sure I make it though the month of September without any issues. I can go out as early as October and be OK though until January, but anything before that and it will not work. I know this seems petty, but honestly, Holiday PTO in my place of business is a hot commodity, and its been nice knowing I wouldn't have to fight for days off to visit family since I would be out on leave anyway...<br />
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I suppose that is all for now! I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow with the dreaded glucose test. Wish me luck, I don't want to have to do the 3 hour test!! I will also find out if I can make the trip to Blackburg next weekend for my second baby shower (with Eric's family), so keep your fingers crossed for me!! And on that note, I'll leave you with a belly shot from this morning. As you can tell, I look exhausted (thankfully I can cover most of my face with the iPhone)...and my butt is trying to keep up with my stomach. Good times.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE81EWJr9E0V5h4mgnOhCj-Bh5N2ezlUTe3JiGcJR7YzftaLDA3pVQAxX4iYox7qBtKGnOS-8F0rMhY6w2o8m44_8MXBLFIoHbmZSY4XXwGk2wi8pXMWNubhVScTPAT6FJ22MaK96GmuY/s1600/28w3d+bump.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE81EWJr9E0V5h4mgnOhCj-Bh5N2ezlUTe3JiGcJR7YzftaLDA3pVQAxX4iYox7qBtKGnOS-8F0rMhY6w2o8m44_8MXBLFIoHbmZSY4XXwGk2wi8pXMWNubhVScTPAT6FJ22MaK96GmuY/s320/28w3d+bump.JPG" /></a></div>Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05149780805113822957noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1010611439870165743.post-17506625201816923232010-08-30T11:27:00.000-04:002010-08-30T11:27:12.868-04:00Starting to Fall Apart... Physically that isI've been pretty lucky during my pregnancy. Really, no issues, and not too much in the way of symptoms. I had some morning sickness for all of 3 weeks during the first trimester, but that's really been it. So apparently, I've been too lucky, because I feel like everything is coming in waves now.<br />
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<b>(Disclaimer, none of what I am about to list would I consider to be "serious", just annoying).</b><br />
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It of course started last week with my new found emotional issues, but continued on Friday. Eric and I packed up after work and headed to Lynchburg for my shower weekend (which was awesome, BTW). We walk into my parent's house after the 3 hour drive, only to have my "cankles" pointed out... by my father no less (I would sooner expect something like this to come from my mother). I looked down, and boy was he right. Not only had I lost all definition in my ankles (I'm pretty sure there used to be bones there), but my feet themselves looked like hams. They were so swollen even the pads of my feet were squishy. It was disturbing to say the least, and they haven't gone back to normal. Now the only shoes that fit are flip flops, so I guess I'll be hitting up DSW soon.<br />
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The swelling didn't stop there, though. My hands had to join in the fun. My wedding rings are officially stored for the duration of the pregnancy, which I HATE more than words can say. Granted, my fingers were a size 5-5.5 pre-pregnancy, so pretty small. And I am still probably smaller than a 7 right now, but since my hands overall are pretty small, I feel like I have sausages for fingers right now. No fun.<br />
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Then the icing on the cake came this morning... I was brushing my teeth in my groggy stupor, when I looked in the mirror to see blood dripping down my face. Yup, first bloody nose... EVER; I was lucky enough to miss out on this fun for the past 28 years. I have never had a bloody nose before. Not in my entire life. I knew it was a common symptom in pregnancy, but I had yet to have to deal with it. How did I react to this? The only way a perfectly sane person could... start screaming and run back into the bedroom to frantically ask Eric how to make it stop (I admit, I'm a bit of a baby when it comes to blood). It stopped pretty quickly, but has gone off and on all day. <br />
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So I can only imagine what other annoying new symptoms I can expect to see in the next 10 to less weeks. Good times!!Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05149780805113822957noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1010611439870165743.post-1377704797222498312010-08-27T11:40:00.000-04:002010-08-27T11:40:04.004-04:00Zero ExcuseLiterally, I have NO excuse for not blogging. I've just been lazy... tired and lazy... and emotional. This last week has just been weird for me. For starters, I feel like I am back in the first trimester. I am tired ALL.THE.TIME. It never stops. I'm too lazy to do anything but come home from work and sit on my butt watching Veronica Mars on Netflix streaming. Its a sad, sad tale.<br />
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But that isn't all that's changed in me since hitting trimester numero tres. Bring on the emotional roller coaster!! Now, I know it was bound to happen eventually, because I've been pretty sane up until now. But the high has died and I have become a ticking time bomb. Case in point, on Tuesday this week, I was flying pretty high. I was excited for my baby shower this weekend, and had gotten presents from three people that day (two at work, one in the mail) from people who weren't going to be able to make it. I felt loved and on top of the world. Thhhennn, I get a message from a friend who was planning to come to my shower from NC saying she would no longer be able to make it... I went from being really happy, to convincing myself I had no friends in the world. I cried for 45 minutes that night, and for almost the whole next day, I would randomly burst into tears for no reason at all. It was ridiculous. And embarrassing.<br />
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Now, let me just say, I know I have friends. I am lucky to have as many friends as I do. BUT, the hardest thing for me is that they are all so spread out. Most of my close friends I met in college (as is pretty normal). Once we all graduated, it seemed like we all spread around the country, so I don't get to see them very often. My shower this weekend is in Lynchburg, my hometown, which is several hours away from most of my friends. <br />
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Prior to Tuesday, I had exactly two friends who were going to be able to make it; one from Richmond (who I see the most often) and one from NC. I totally understood why people couldn't make the trip, as for many of them, Lynchburg is several hours away, so I really wasn't trying to be upset. But the update that my friend from NC could no longer come just sent me over the edge. <br />
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Ever since, I have just felt on edge. Like I said, all Wednesday, I would just be sitting at my desk, and would randomly start crying. No trigger or anything, just tears a-pouring. I hate feeling like this!!!! I want to go back to being happy all the time and excited about what's to come! Ugh, I really hope this phases passes... and quickly! <br />
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I am still really excited for this weekend, so I am trying to focus on that. I'll miss all my friends, but I'll be able to see my family and family friends. And in two weeks will hopefully be my Blacksburg shower with Eric's family (I say hopefully because the doctor does not want me to travel, and they said we would discuss at my next appoint, which is next Friday... fingers crossed!). I have so much to be happy about, so I really need to work myself out of this funk!!<br />
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On another note, enjoy this week's belly shot! Based on this week's ultrasound, both boys are measuring ahead by a little less than a week (as has been the norm for most of the pregnancy), and both weigh about 2.7 lbs. That's almost 5 1/2 lbs of baby! No wonder I am having a hard time breathing, and its only going to get worse! I'd share some u/s pics, but I had the world's worse technician and literally got nothing good to show! Oh well, the important part is that they are OK.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYYZo08lZPM7UYsn1avq1to4G9ekopgO7Js0tx3cnK_NnGnc55OAV77JJE6XvUwzsdkJd6gEYVt_pn-sVOZMP-LYKbNXQBF6BfOrVOpf9U6UdN1vpnvF58mr-Xx4oePrafiuclLmyZHeY/s1600/27w3d+bump.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYYZo08lZPM7UYsn1avq1to4G9ekopgO7Js0tx3cnK_NnGnc55OAV77JJE6XvUwzsdkJd6gEYVt_pn-sVOZMP-LYKbNXQBF6BfOrVOpf9U6UdN1vpnvF58mr-Xx4oePrafiuclLmyZHeY/s320/27w3d+bump.JPG" /></a></div>Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05149780805113822957noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1010611439870165743.post-53262592214766730952010-08-20T13:04:00.000-04:002010-08-20T13:04:08.091-04:00Handsome Little Boy<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Sorry!! I know I said that I would post last night but we ended up getting back late, so I put it off until today. As you know, we had our 3D/4D ultrasound yesterday. It was a lot of fun! For starters, the room was the most comfortable place in the world. Eric is always complaining about where we go for our monthly ultrasounds because its cold in the room, and small, but this room was the perfect temp with a nice sofa for Eric and a WONDERFUL bed for me. I was really comfortable. And the girl performing the u/s, who I also believe owns the business, was sweet as can be.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Both babies are transverse right now, one on top of the other, both heads to my right, both butts to my left, and legs all over the place. </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Unfortunately, Baby B didn't want to participate in the fun, so we literally got <strong>no</strong> pictures of him (unless you count random shots of his legs/hands in the Baby A shots). He spent the whole time facing my back. I was pretty disappointed, but she did say we could pay a small fee and come back again if we wanted to try to capture Baby B. I'm working on convincing Eric now :)</div><br />
We did however get <strong>LOTS</strong> of good Baby A shots. He's so cute, and in my opinion, the single most handsome little man in the world! So here are some of my favorite shots! Enjoy!!<br />
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<div align="center">Lucas (aka Baby A) sucking on his cord (silly boy)</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc5j7JUs-Qs4_j7dQuH7dgSUnyMpOFoZgANyPk54yEVxGL8EetAD-BnY9NSRj59iPHHfLqXyvteWRo7jSJDIuP8jYn8gbuFG12s2hq_aIa_DnpWsTXiW_DYbWquT9Of40mEWCvs1xr98o/s1600/TURPIN+TWINS_4.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc5j7JUs-Qs4_j7dQuH7dgSUnyMpOFoZgANyPk54yEVxGL8EetAD-BnY9NSRj59iPHHfLqXyvteWRo7jSJDIuP8jYn8gbuFG12s2hq_aIa_DnpWsTXiW_DYbWquT9Of40mEWCvs1xr98o/s320/TURPIN+TWINS_4.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;">Lucas kneeing himself in the face</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYnKzyKqHlsTNCsK8L9m46sZ_Ta5JDn6sIxrejA_I58DO0eyH4J4T2AkAPtrDNxHcBzemVnNLiuYs0CglFmxAZA_k5ZzH2lM0lhuONyBSGpnpBdGk6Vkfq31SfTi519t6qBbC_I3Lhakw/s1600/TURPIN+TWINS_14.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYnKzyKqHlsTNCsK8L9m46sZ_Ta5JDn6sIxrejA_I58DO0eyH4J4T2AkAPtrDNxHcBzemVnNLiuYs0CglFmxAZA_k5ZzH2lM0lhuONyBSGpnpBdGk6Vkfq31SfTi519t6qBbC_I3Lhakw/s320/TURPIN+TWINS_14.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;">Tired boy!!</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj74A9i0vPqf7JMyN06d1tk6nbF-itOfBO6BPskfbZZCwf8K1IIoHu9KaPgvvSxQX-DlFDBzhyphenhyphenNiiK5cboXCg9o_kVLm9eUgXbY2Yd2il_N3QbQZAwJA9fblrcsM1NwM0fs6KK0ei3GHmo/s1600/TURPIN+TWINS_26.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj74A9i0vPqf7JMyN06d1tk6nbF-itOfBO6BPskfbZZCwf8K1IIoHu9KaPgvvSxQX-DlFDBzhyphenhyphenNiiK5cboXCg9o_kVLm9eUgXbY2Yd2il_N3QbQZAwJA9fblrcsM1NwM0fs6KK0ei3GHmo/s320/TURPIN+TWINS_26.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;">My FAVORITE SHOT - He has the cutest nose and lips. LOVE HIM!</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3lMLAuBnGpciKiGg1vptTxtNlWOdmoClHQbKTm0LHvXFTnhD0mDcVW03OKd7wItLMkFkHrTgacBQ8j0IsLl1zZZxQqpYLWgupo_D5MBiWgBxu3eXRZmSediW91NN_Ww4KkK6bH9AHdyw/s1600/TURPIN+TWINS_30.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3lMLAuBnGpciKiGg1vptTxtNlWOdmoClHQbKTm0LHvXFTnhD0mDcVW03OKd7wItLMkFkHrTgacBQ8j0IsLl1zZZxQqpYLWgupo_D5MBiWgBxu3eXRZmSediW91NN_Ww4KkK6bH9AHdyw/s320/TURPIN+TWINS_30.JPG" /></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div align="center" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Lucas trying to block his face with his hand (and that is Lane's, aka Baby B's, leg to the right)</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMulVOszaOsbHjfTgNKYjDnpCePeyO5mQ2G5b9k8-BYakvFrDlq7NzylBRXQVyTHPmKouYBj8vJyrAOGCge-HitAGmRJQJ0PLqsdhxFx3Lk7IqlgDqj5XZuNTFFhpif6HEWeECvXHxhG0/s1600/TURPIN+TWINS_32.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMulVOszaOsbHjfTgNKYjDnpCePeyO5mQ2G5b9k8-BYakvFrDlq7NzylBRXQVyTHPmKouYBj8vJyrAOGCge-HitAGmRJQJ0PLqsdhxFx3Lk7IqlgDqj5XZuNTFFhpif6HEWeECvXHxhG0/s320/TURPIN+TWINS_32.JPG" /></a></div>Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05149780805113822957noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1010611439870165743.post-77456293606775537762010-08-17T16:28:00.000-04:002010-08-17T16:28:15.651-04:00StokedYup, I'm pretty stoked. Just booked my 3D/4D ultrasound, and they were able to get us in this THURSDAY. Much faster than I had anticipated. My parents offered to pay for this as a gift to us, but I didn't realize how excited I was until the appointment was booked. Can't wait to see what our boys look like, be on the look out for a post Thursday evening!!Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05149780805113822957noreply@blogger.com2