Friday, August 27, 2010

Zero Excuse

Literally, I have NO excuse for not blogging.  I've just been lazy... tired and lazy... and emotional.  This last week has just been weird for me.  For starters, I feel like I am back in the first trimester.  I am tired ALL.THE.TIME.  It never stops.  I'm too lazy to do anything but come home from work and sit on my butt watching Veronica Mars on Netflix streaming.  Its a sad, sad tale.

But that isn't all that's changed in me since hitting trimester numero tres.  Bring on the emotional roller coaster!!  Now, I know it was bound to happen eventually, because I've been pretty sane up until now.  But the high has died and I have become a ticking time bomb.  Case in point, on Tuesday this week, I was flying pretty high.  I was excited for my baby shower this weekend, and had gotten presents from three people that day (two at work, one in the mail) from people who weren't going to be able to make it.  I felt loved and on top of the world.  Thhhennn, I get a message from a friend who was planning to come to my shower from NC saying she would no longer be able to make it... I went from being really happy, to convincing myself I had no friends in the world.  I cried for 45 minutes that night, and for almost the whole next day, I would randomly burst into tears for no reason at all.  It was ridiculous.  And embarrassing.

Now, let me just say, I know I have friends.  I am lucky to have as many friends as I do.  BUT, the hardest thing for me is that they are all so spread out.  Most of my close friends I met in college (as is pretty normal).  Once we all graduated, it seemed like we all spread around the country, so I don't get to see them very often.  My shower this weekend is in Lynchburg, my hometown, which is several hours away from most of my friends. 

Prior to Tuesday, I had exactly two friends who were going to be able to make it; one from Richmond (who I see the most often) and one from NC.  I totally understood why people couldn't make the trip, as for many of them, Lynchburg is several hours away, so I really wasn't trying to be upset.  But the update that my friend from NC could no longer come just sent me over the edge. 

Ever since, I have just felt on edge.  Like I said, all Wednesday, I would just be sitting at my desk, and would randomly start crying.  No trigger or anything, just tears a-pouring.  I hate feeling like this!!!!  I want to go back to being happy all the time and excited about what's to come!  Ugh, I really hope this phases passes... and quickly! 

I am still really excited for this weekend, so I am trying to focus on that.  I'll miss all my friends, but I'll be able to see my family and family friends.  And in two weeks will hopefully be my Blacksburg shower with Eric's family (I say hopefully because the doctor does not want me to travel, and they said we would discuss at my next appoint, which is next Friday... fingers crossed!).  I have so much to be happy about, so I really need to work myself out of this funk!!

On another note, enjoy this week's belly shot!  Based on this week's ultrasound, both boys are measuring ahead by a little less than a week (as has been the norm for most of the pregnancy), and both weigh about 2.7 lbs.  That's almost 5 1/2 lbs of baby!  No wonder I am having a hard time breathing, and its only going to get worse!  I'd share some u/s pics, but I had the world's worse technician and literally got nothing good to show!  Oh well, the important part is that they are OK.

1 comment:

  1. I can't believe the babies are already 2.7 pounds! Thats great news! I haven't blogged either in awhile. I think I'm afraid to say too much about it for some reason this time. Anyway, don't worry about the shower situation. I'm sure it will turn out beautifully with tons of family and friends there to support you. Well wish me luck cause our 3rd IUI is tomorrow morning!! Praying this is it for us!