100 Days

I have been pregnant for 100 days.  Wow.  Thats crazy.  Just 180 left to go!

I don't have much to post, but I figured since I've been taking my weekly belly shots on Tuesdays, I'd share mine from this morning.  It isn't as easy to see since I'm in a dress, but it will do.  I'm 14w2d today.  Next ultrasound is on MONDAY!!

Drama, Drama, Drama

So, as per usual, it never fails that everything around me goes wrong once my hubby leaves town. I'd like to think I am fully capable of functioning on my own, but really, it’s so much easier when he is around.

It started off with small things, like the cable box breaking for a minute, or the shower clogging (and is still clogged, BTW, because this clog is impenetrable apparently), but Friday night was terrible for me... and Saturday just got worse.

I decided to watch a movie in bed Friday night, knowing perfectly well that there was no way I'd stay awake. It’s just not possible. After about 30 minutes, I was out. I woke up around 11pm to the movie credits, and when I got up to turn off the TV and hit up the bathroom, I noticed a terrible pain down the right ride of my back. I had no idea what I had done, but it felt like the world's worse muscle cramp. I tried to find a comfortable position, but it didn't exist. Instead, I spent most of the night, wide awake, practically in tears from the pain and frustration. My body finally gave in about 3am and let me fall asleep, propped up on my back. I felt terrible sleeping like this, since I know its bad in pregnancy, but it was the only way I could get some sleep.

So, I wake up Saturday morning and call the doctor. They have urgent care hours on Saturday, so I went in and was seen by a nurse practitioner. Apparently, this was a bad idea. I probably would have been better going to the ER or to an actual Urgent Care facility and waiting for 2-3 hours than dealing with this woman. They ran a few tests to make sure it wasn't my kidneys or some other issue, which thankfully it wasn't, and decided it was just a pulled muscle or muscle spasm. I pretty much knew this, but my hubby was really insistent that I go to the doctor and be sure... and I'd always like to be safe than sorry.

So, what does the NP give me to help since I couldn't take any anti-inflammatory drugs?? VALIUM! Flipping Valium, a Pregnancy Category D which basically is known to cause birth defects and should only be given in life threatening situations, which this was not. I asked her three times if she was sure this was OK, and she swore it was, but I knew that couldn't be right. As soon as she left the room, I got on my phone and looked it up. Yup, there is was, a hundred pages telling me NOT to take this drug. So, I call my OB, and she was in absolute shock that someone would actually give a pregnant person Valium. She said if anything, I should only be taking something with a narcotic in it, like Tylenol 3's or Percocets. She said to avoid taking anything if possible, and just keep heat on it, but if I really needed something to take off the edge, this was what I could take.

So I called the NP back and let her know what my OB had said, and the stupid woman actually had the nerve to be mad at me! She gave me such attitude that I dare call my OB and confirm it was OK to take Valium and said my OB didn't know how to diagnose medical issues like this because that is not her area. She said narcotic drugs will not help with back pain. Hello, its a pain killer, right? Isn't that its job??

I was so mad. I was mad at this woman for giving me something that could have hurt my babies and I was mad at her for giving me crap because I wanted to be sure it was safe. I seriously have half a mind to call them back today and talk to someone of authority, but at the same time, I wasted so much energy on this already, that I am just tired to thinking about it.

Anyway, so I spent most of the rest of the weekend lying down. My back feels ALOT better today, but I am definitely still sore and stiff. I only needed to breakdown and take one Tylenol 3 on Saturday night, but that was just to really help me get comfortable enough to sleep. I really hope this was just some fluke and not something that will be occurring regularly for the duration of the pregnancy.


If you want more information of Pregnancy Drug Categories, visit here.

The Promised Land

I am so relieved to say that I only woke up ONCE last night to pee.  Now, this may not seem like a big deal to the rest of you, but to me, it's wonderful.  I have been waiting for that point when I hit the second trimester and the frequent urination starts to subside.  I swear, for the entire duration of the first trimester, I was waking up every hour (maybe every two hours if I was lucky) to relieve myself... sometimes up to 7-8 times a night.  This was making me beyond miserable, as it kept me from really being able to fall asleep all the way. 

Even before I was pregnant, I woke up at least once to use the bathroom, so I feel like I am back to normal... maybe I was just so exhausted that I slept through the need to go, but I really hope this is here to stay!  I actually felt rested most of the day, and it is GREAT!

In other news, my hubby is leaving me tomorrow to go on a 10 day cross-country road trip with his best friend.  Usually, I like having the house to myself, but I'm a little down about it this time... maybe it's because my favorite thing to do when hubby is out of town is open a bottle of wine, order sushi take out, and watch chick flicks that I have no chance of watching when he is home... but two out of those three activities are basically out (and please, I know that I can eat cooked or veggie sushi, but come on, that isn't the same thing).  I decided to spend the long holiday weekend back home with my parents... maybe doing some maternity shopping cause my clothes aren't cutting it so much anymore. 

We both will return home on Memorial Day, and I'm excited for an ultrasound scheduled for the next day at 8:40am.  As I've said before, I'll be 15w2d...probably still too early to determine the sexes 100%, but damn if I'm not going to ask about 100 times.  I don't want to have to wait another 3-5 weeks afterwards to find out, I'm too impatient!

Decisions and Updates

Why hello, everyone!  I hope everyone had a great weekend.  I spent this weekend in Richmond with my hubby and best friends attending our 4th year at Colonial Downs Strawberry Hill Races.  It's one of my favorite events of the year.  It typically takes place April, but this year it was moved to May, probably because of the pouring rain that April has brought us the past several years of the event.  This year, the rain was replaced by blistering heat.  I love this event because we get all dressed up, and spend the day outdoors, having fun, drinking wine.  Of course, this year, there was no wine for me, so I was the sober one, but I still had a great time. 

I am happy to say that we have FINALLY made a decision on the stroller/car seat front.  We plan to get the following:

Infant Car Seat: Chicco KeyFit 30 (pattern TBD, as hubs and I can't seem to agree, but I can't lie, I like the one shown below, its fun!)

Stroller: Combi Twin Sport in Cranberry Noche (hopefully... this is only sold at BRU and they are sold out right now)

We also plan to use a Snap N Go when the twins are first born, because every single twin parent I have talked to said this is the best way to go, and I am listening!  I still have some parents telling me to ditch the side-by-side stroller and go with a tandem, but I have heard really good things about the Combi and its ability to fit through doors, so I am pretty confident in my decision.  Plus, like I have said from the beginning, I want a stroller where both kids can see, and you lose that with a tandem stroller.  Now we are moving on to picking out nursery furniture.... so of course, I am open for all suggestions for places to look.

Today was my monthly OB appointment.  I am 13w2d.  I got to hear both of the heartbeats (which were in the 160s... could we be having girls???), which totally made up for the fact that I had to wait 45 minutes to be seen.  My next ultrasound is on June 1st.  I'll be 15w2d, but I'm really hoping they will be able to determine the sexes.  If not, then I'll be going back around Week 18-20.  Fingers crossed, as I am ready to know NOW!

And lastly, an updated belly pic from this morning... I can't really tell if there is much of a difference from last week... Any thoughts??

Blog Updates

Please ignore me as I try to update the blog... I'm trying to give it a makeover, but its taking much longer than I would think to find something I love.  So it may be funny looking for a day or so!

Stroller FAIL

Ugh, I'm so upset right now. I FINALLY thought I had a stroller plan, at least one I could stick too for the time being, just to be crushed. I decided to go with the Chicco Trevi Twin plus a Snap and Go for when they are young. But alas, my inquires to Chicco as to why every.single.store was sold out yielded that the stroller was discontinued, to be replaced by the new tandem Cortina Together (which I also like, but I really wanted a side-to-side option). Oh well, back to the drawing board it seems.

NT Results are IN (and a 12w2d Update)

So I got the results of my NT scan yesterday afternoon and I am VERY happy.  They are as follows:

For Downs Syndrome:
Baby A has a 1 in 8,600 chance
Baby B has a 1 in 7,900 chance

For Trisomy:
Both babies have a 1 in 10,000 chance

These results are GREAT and make me very happy!  I honestly didn't think I was worried about this, until I saw how relived I was with the results.  The nurse said these are results typically seen in someone 20 years or younger, so yay, thanks for taking 8+ years off me for a second! :)  My hubby was so funny when I told him.  He got this look of horror like I was telling him the worst news ever, while I was all excited.  I asked what was wrong and he said, "That doesn't seem like very good results."  I explained to them that they are really low risk and probably the best results we could have wished for, but apparently, he wanted to hear the risk was 1 in 10,000,000 or better.  It was cute.

Now, granted, its a little harder to know the exact numbers in twin pregnancies, since you cannot determine exactly how the blood is shared.  The test assumes 50/50 split and therefore just split my bloodwork results evenly between the two babies, but it could in reality be 60/40 or even 70/30.  You really can never know.  But, with such low results overall, the nurse did not think I had anything to worry about.

And just for fun, I decided to include a baby belly pic.  I have been avoiding these like the plague, as you all know, I have a huge issue with weight gain and feeling out of shape, but I'm trying to get over it and just be happy!  I still worry that I am a little too big for being 12w2d, but I'm going to go with it, and just keep saying "Hey, there are TWO babies in there, crazy woman, this is OK!"  This pic is from this morning.  Excuse the poor quality, but it was taken with my phone.  I'll get better and start using a real camera, I swear.

As far as how I am doing, I'm pretty good. The news from yesterday plus my ultrasound on Friday have put me in a natural high and I feel so much better. I am still exhausted, and have some food aversions (mostly meat other than beef... love the beef, hate the chicken, pork, etc), but overall I feel good most of the time... aside from the occasional nausea and headaches. Now I'm just waiting for these guys to get a little bigger so I can feel them moving around. I hope that happens earlier with twins, but who knows!

The Great Stroller Debate

I'm starting to realize that each week brings a new item of stress; last week it was weight, this week its baby gear. I never thought I could be so stressed over trying to decide what kind of stroller or car seat to get.
For starters, I am totally jealous that they do not make twin travel systems. That would just be so much easier! Instead, I have to buy it all separately, except I am leaning more towards a side-by-side stroller, and I have yet to find one that I like that holds two infant car seats. I have found a tandem stroller that I like and that will take two infant car seats, but I feel bad because I know once they are older, I will want them side by side. If anyone has ANY advice or input in this area, please let me know, because I am about beside myself trying to decide.

And don't even get me started on the whole Infant Car Seat vs. Convertible Car Seat debate... because I can't seem to stay on one side for very long.

So, here are some of the strollers I like so far:

Chicco Trevi Twin

Right now this stroller is in the lead. I've heard some great things about it from a twin mom friend of mine, who had used it since birth, and the brand has great ratings.

Pros: Lightweight, easy to maneuver, side-by-side design, reclines for infant use

Cons: Does not take infant car seats, Seems to be sold out everywhere

Cost: ~ $175

Chicco Contina Together

This is the new tandem stroller from Chicco. I also really like this, but it just came out last month, so while all the reviews are great right now, I don't know if there would be any long term issues

Pros: Accepts two infant car seats, but also reclines for use with infants

Cons: Front-to-Back design (which could limit what one child sees once older), new item with very few reviews, Seems to be sold out everywhere

Cost: ~$300

Bumbleride Indie Twin

When I first started looking at strollers, I must admit, I went straight for the Bumbleride... but the more I looked into it, the more I realized the reviews for this stroller was right down the middle. People either loved it or hated it. I rarely saw the happy medium.
Pros: Nice looking, positive reviews are raving, reclines for infants
Cons: Only takes one infant car seat, Negative reviews are very strong, VERY costly
Cost: ~$660

Snap and Go

This seems like a staple for most moms when baby is first born, and use for the first 6-12 months.
Pros: Lightweight, Accepts most infant car seats, relatively inexpensive
Cons: Once babies outgrow infant car seats it is useless, sold out in most places
Cost: ~$100

I looked at the Graco Quattro Double, but decided that if I was going with a tandem, it would be the Chicco Together. Also eliminated were BOB and Peg Perego, not because I didn't like them, but because they basically had the same issues as the Bumbleride, and were just as expensive so I categorized them together.

So what are your thoughts? Any feedback on the strollers and/or brands I have listed or do you have any new suggestions? I feel like a fish out of water right now!

12 weeks ultrasound

In true roller coaster form, today is 100% an "up" day.  For those of you who suffered through yesterday's post (to which I am sorry, I know it was long and probably very annoying), you know that I have been feeling pretty down lately, and while I am sure that isn't over, today is going great.  This morning, we had our NT scan.  We are techniqually 11w5d, but the babies measured at 11w7d and 12w1d, so they are doing good!  We still have to wait in the bloodwork results, but the initial measurements were great.  We could see their arms, and legs, and hands, and the heartbeats were still going strong.  It was amazing!!  Here are some pics:

Baby A was sleepy today.  We were able to get lots of pictures of him/her.  Above the face is a hand, and he/she even started sucking his/her thumb.

Baby B, on the other hand, was the complete opposite.  He/she flipped and turned and bounced.  It was so much fun to watch!  But, as a result, it was a little hard to get a good picture, which is why this one isn't as good. 

I really wanted a picture of them together, but they wouldn't really cooperate, so the u/s tech took us this 3D pic.  I think these are really cool, but will look better once they are bigger.  I hope there are more of them in our future!

So there are our most recent pics.  I am so amazed by how much they have grown in just 3 weeks.  They are starting to look just like babies.  My hubby thinks Baby A is more relaxed, like him, and so is a boy, but that Baby B is wild and crazy, like me, and therefore a girl.  I think his predictions are funny.  I guess we have a few more weeks to wait and see!  We do know for sure now that they are fraternal, so hopefully we will have one of each.

Trying NOT to drive myself insane

So again I must apologize, I know I have been MIA... I'm a bad blogger now. I went from writing almost every day to barely once a week. But, trust me when I say, it's for your own good. These past couple of weeks have been rough on me, and the last thing I wanted to do was pounce on my blog and bitch about it. But then I realized, "Hey, that's why I started blogging in the first place..." It just makes me feel a little guilty, because I went from suffering through IF treatments, and now that I am pregnant, I feel like I have no right to complain. But, on the flipside, I really feel like I need to use this outlet to get some things off my mind.

I want to start by saying I am 100% happy and excited to become a mom. It's what we wanted for almost a year and half, and I'm so happy to finally be there. I am still really nervous about having twins, but I know it will still be a fun and exciting (albeit stressful) journey for our family to be.

But I would be lying if I said I wasn't feeling a multitude of other things as well... I just came to the realization yesterday that I have hit some sort of depression, and I'm not entirely sure how to deal with it.

What do I have to be depressed about, you may ask... well, I at least have the insight to see that all the things I get upset over are stupid, plain and simple. They don't matter, but for some reason, it brings me down. The biggest thing right now that I am dealing with is weight. Now, I haven't really gained more than a pound or so over the last 12 weeks, but I definitely have a bump forming. I am fine with that (happy, even), but now I notice my arms looking bigger, and my face, and my BUTT, and I suddenly feel like crying because I am such a fat cow.
My weight has always been a sensitive subject. I was really small in high school and college, and very active, but in my last year of college (while finishing up my second degree), I started working at a local restaurant, stopped working out all together, and gained a lot of weight... I'm talking, like, 50+ pounds. This was back in 2004-2005. Ever since then, my weight has been an issue and a struggle. Right before our wedding in 2007, I lost about 30 lbs, then gained it all back (plus some) in our first year. Then in May 2008, I started Weight Watchers, and over the course of a year, I lost everything I had ever gained, more than 50 lbs, and I was so happy. Last summer was the first time since college I was happy in a bathing suit. I didn't have my college figure back, but I am logical enough to know that will never happen, but I was happy and healthy and active.
One of my biggest incentives for losing the weight was to be healthier when we got pregnant. I was really hoping to be one of those girls who becomes all belly and looks so cute pregnant... and then, we didn't get pregnant... and then the IF treatments started, and over the course of Sept 2009 to March 2010, when we finally conceived, I gained about 20 lbs back.

Now, I know, it’s not that bad, but I keep finding myself in tears over this... I worked so hard and it makes me feel like I let it all go, and became lazy. I know the medications and the hormones did contribute a lot, but I feel like I caused this, making my body an unhealthy environment for my babies. Now, all I can see is a girl who is 20 lbs overweight (even though, really, I'm not overweight...this is that logical part of me), and who is just going to be fatter as the pregnancy progresses. I already hate having pictures taken of me, and I'm scared I'll miss out on documenting this pregnancy because I am too worried about how fat my face looks.

So I flip from feeling depressed to feeling guilty... and why guilty, you may ask? Well, because all I want to do right now is diet and exercise, which I know is bad. It's selfish. Now is not the time to try and lose weight. Pregnancy is not the time to start working out for hours a day and cutting out food, not to mention I still have NO energy to do either of these things. But I can't help feeling like this.

So, that's where my head it at right now. I'm hoping that once my belly gets a little more pronounced, I won't be so upset, but right now, this has taken over my mind. It's all I think about... to the point that when people around me talk about the pregnancy, I get all awkward and say stupid things like, "But I'm having twins, so I'm supposed to show sooner". When, really, no one cares or has even noticed, it's ALL ME.
ANYWAY, if you happen to even still be reading, I apologize for this terribly long rant, its just that I have been keeping it all to myself and I was about to explode. On a more positive note, I have my NT scan tomorrow, and will get to see the babies again! I'm so excited to see how much they have grown over the past 4 weeks. I wish it wasn't too early to determine the sex(es), but hopefully we will know next month, fingers crossed. BTW, I'd be lying if I said I also had a lot of nerves about tomorrow's appointment too, but that's the crazy girl in me. I have of course convinced myself that something has gone wrong, since many of my symptoms have diminished a couple weeks ago.... but hopefully the fact that I am still insane is a sign I am still happily pregnant. Once I see them tomorrow, I think I will finally let myself relax and believe this is real!