Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Punch to the Gut

So yesterday, we took the car in to be serviced before leaving for Christmas vacation.  We have yet to buy a second car since the unfortunate destruction of the Mazda last year, but it works out for the most part since Eric works from home.  Annnnnyway, as a result, I had the car shuttle service pick me up from work and take me back to the dealership to get the car.

So, we are driving along and I somehow get on the subject of kids, specifically Lane.  Here's the gist of the convo:

"Blah Blah Blah, like your work?"

"Yes, but I'm happy to be done for the day.  I'm exhausted!  Of course, I have to go home to my second job with my 14 month old."

"Oh, you have twins?"


"Twins, right?"

::major pause, insert punch in gut face::



Really?  I really didn't say ANYTHING to remotely imply twins so where did it come from?  I've said it a hundred times before, but I already feel like I've had my membership to the exclusive club for twin mommies taken away, but I'm typically pretty well adjusted.  But when something like this happens, I have no idea how to react.  What do I say??  "Um, no sir, well, actually, yes sir, only there was this terrible accident and now I just have one son... so, no twins anymore... I know you feel super awkward now but at least I'm not the only one..."

I never know how to react in these situations.  I have a hard enough time not wanting to hate every woman in the world with or expecting twins... I know it isn't THEIR fault that this happened to me, and I know deep down its just jealously looking in on the life I was SUPPOSED to have, but my logically knowing this does not make the feeling go away.  Plain and simple.  Hell, to be honest, sometimes I feel that way towards all mommies-to-be, regardless of multiples or not... it must be some coping mechanism of mine.  I think my own fears of being pregnant again are just starting to rub off on my social interactions...

1 comment:

  1. Ugh. That is awful. I hate when people ask me if Griffin is my "only" or my "first." I always say yes and no, we lost twins, but we have Griffin home with us.

    Wait - are you pregnant again???