Had A Good Time With This One Last Night

What will your babies look like... maybe...??

No Dice...

No such luck, it seems, for this cycle.  Today is CD21, and I had yet another follow up u/s (this was number 4).  My lead follicle was only 10-11mm... which, confuses the heck out of me.  On Sunday (CD18), the lead follicle was 13mm, so please tell me how it is back to 11mm again (which is what it measured for both my first and second u/s).  Do I somehow have magical disappearing follicles???

So, at the end of this appointment, I didn't get the cheerful "We'll check again in a few days"... It was more "Well, by now the Clomid should be working, and isn't, so we can give you Provera so you can move onto your next cycle".

I'm super frustrated.  My last few cycles, I have O'ed, but very late (CD26-29 range).  I was really hoping with the increase in dose, this cycle would be even earlier, but guess not.

And now I am torn.  Should I go ahead and start with the Provera or wait it out to see if I O late?

Time to make a Pro/Con list, I suppose...

Barren Wasteland

My Reproductive System...

Hey, might as well try to add a little humor to my down day...

They're Here Already???

After only a few months into our TTC journey, I started to notice anyone and everyone else around me who was getting pregnant.  For about about a solid month, everytime I logged onto Facebook, another one of my friends was pregnant.  Then it moved into my place of work.  Allllll the women around me were getting pregnant, all the while I sit by and wonder "Why not me??"

Well, I'd like to think I got over it (at least a little bit...).  Yes, it was miserable knowing everyone had it sooo easy (When, in reality, how did I know that?  Who is to say they didn't go through all this stuff, too?), while we had so much trouble, but I learned to take it as it came and just deal with it cycle to cycle.

But today is a down day for me.  Not because more of my friends are pregnant (though, that is still happening), but because all those people who got pregant in the first six months of us TTC are now having their babies.  The past three days at work, I have gotten emails about someone having their baby.  I think its great, I am SO happy for them, but all this does is remind me how long this is taking.  I feel like I am being lapped...

I remember finding out a friend of mind was pregnant right at the same time my husband and I started trying.  She gave birth in October.  That was my first reminder of how long this is taking.  And now I am getting daily updates.  It sucks having to be the bigger person when all I want to do it scream about how unfair it all really is...

The Little Engine That Could

Yesterday (Sunday), I had a CD18 follow-up ultrasound.  To refresh your memory, I had ultrasounds on both CD12 and CD15, both of which showed my lead follicle at only 11mm.  To be able to proceed with the trigger (hCG) shot, your lead follicle needs to be at least 18 to 20mm.  So, needless to say, I was not progressing as I should on this round of Clomid (150mg CD5-9).

Ideally, your follicles should grow 2-3mm per day.  At my follow up appointment yesterday (3 days after my last ultrasound), my lead follicle was at 13mm.  Not too much progression, but at least I am getting somewhere... even if it is only 2mm in 3 days.  The doctor doesn't think this progression is caused by the Clomid, though, because you should expect to see a ready follicle by CD18.  Which bascially means I am suffering these hot flashes and night sweats for nada.  Good times.

So, I'm still in the waiting game, but at least I am starting to feel like I am getting somewhere.  I'll go back on Wednesday, CD21, and hopefully my progress will improve.  Keep your fingers crossed!!